13 Days to American Idol

"Before Idol, I was lost.... Now, I've actually followed through with something. I am a better man for it!"

-- Elliott Yamin


(Today's entry is brought to you by Lindsay Hemphill)

I don’t really remember Elliott from his audition, or even Hollywood week (though I remember he was stuck with one of the Brittenum Twins from hell). But what I definitely DO remember is when he sang Moody’s Mood for Love during the early stages of the competition. I know that I sat up and took notice. I don’t remember (before or since) anyone singing something THAT hard and pitch perfect at that stage of the competition!

Elliott always had that ‘something special’ quality that made me very quickly become a fan! Week after week, he put out outstanding performances that made me say, “man, this guy is amazing!” And THEN we found out that he is 90% deaf in his right ear. AND he has diabetes. I mean, he’s a walking inspiration…with an AMAZING voice!

I have had the privilege to see him live twice. Once during the AI Tour and then a few months later at the Virginia State Fair. And I have both his albums (one with the hit “Wait For You” and also his Christmas album), and both are incredible. He is just fantastic and I will gladly pay any amount of money to see him live or buy anything he puts out. I hope you enjoy two of my favorite Idol performances.

14 Days to American Idol

“Never stop, sing with your heart and do what’s right for YOU!”

-- Diana DeGarmo, www.americanidol.com


No one can ever accuse Diana DeGarmo of failing to follow her own advice. Throughout her run on American Idol’s 3rd Season, she never stopped competing, she always performed with an abundance of emotion, and her pursuit of a career in music was undeniably the right path for her.

It’s no secret that I was underwhelmed by AI’s third season. The trajectory of events highlighted the limitations of the show’s age restrictions. Between inexperienced performers and puzzling eliminations, excitement was mostly lacking. The strength of the season presented itself in its display of pure and malleable talent. Diana was one such artist.

One of the most alluring appeals of this show is to watch aspiring singers find themselves and their individual stage personas. Diana embraced this aspect of the show, took criticism to heart, and grew as a performer with each passing week. She was an unlikely finalist, outlasting early favorites in Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London. But unlike all others except eventual winner Fantasia Barrino, she connected with the audience and made her mark.

She has since found success on stage under the bright lights of Broadway. The American Idol studio stage taught her well!

15 Days to American Idol

"The greatest glory never comes from winning, but from rising each time you fall. A person is defined by what he chooses to do with his life, not by what happens to him."

-- Clay Aiken


(Today's entry is brought to you by Lindsay Hemphill)

Since I watched Season 2 from the beginning (already soaking up ever detail that I could), I remember Clay’s audition. Ryan was doing his normal voice-overs leading you to believe that Clay Aiken was going to be another “geek” with a horrible voice. So, in walked Clay who said he believed he was the ‘next American idol”….all of us at home saying “riiiiiiiiiight”! And then he opened his mouth to sing and this huge and amazing voice came out!

What followed over the next few months is very much the reason American Idol is still around and thriving. By the time we got to the final 3, we had three very non-American Idol looking contestants. And all 3 of them could have vocally kicked any season 1 contestant (except, of course, Kelly) right out of the running. Clay (along with Ruben and K-Lo) had talent. During Clay’s run, he was able to build a serious fan base! They are the Clay-mates….my Mom is one, so I’ve seen him several times since Idol and I must say that he sounds EXACTLY the same in person as he did on TV 6 years ago!

He’s since had multiple albums and is currently on Broadway (he’s actually QUITE funny in Spamalot right now!!) But mostly, Clay was the proof that you didn’t have to win American Idol to be successful! I have a feeling that he’ll be around for quite some time!

[PS. Ssssshhhhhhhh, don’t tell Marc, but here’s a bonus clip: Clay singing my favorite Christmas song, “Mary Did you Know”, on the View a couple of years ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scHi3SaoeQk]

16 Days to Amercian Idol

"Someone who, when given the platform, represents who they truly are and can convey it in a way that makes the audience want to know more."

--Melinda Doolittle, on her definition of an American Idol, www.americanidol.com


(Today's entry is brought to you by Lindsay Hemphill)

When Melinda Doolittle auditioned for Season 6, she was auditioning as a background singer who had gotten the push to audition by her friends. In a season where the younger contestants were often taking the spotlight, she was able to take it right back and prove that she deserved to be there.

As the weeks progressed, everyone could just watch her confidence grow in her own performances! It was a joy to watch the transformation. As the weeks continued, she became a clear front runner who everyone thought was going to win, and she fell into the trap that many front runners face: fans getting too comfortable with their favorite contestant, so she “only” came in third, but really….she will have a great career! So, please enjoy my two favorite performances from Melinda!

17 Days to American Idol

“I think we are all very different, so just being me will be the key.”

--Jason Castro


(Today's entry is brought to you by Lindsay Hemphill, with minor commentary by me in blue.)

Season 7 was a truly entertaining season of American Idol! There were no “Sanjaya’s” and it was all about watching the amazing talent put on stage week to week! I remember watching the Top 12 Boys, week one of the Semi-finals round. All of a sudden this kinda cute guy with quite a different look (cause, you know, he had dreads!) came out and sang “Daydream.” I, along with millions of others, fell in love just a little bit. Jason Castro was just the ‘breath of fresh air’ that American Idol needed! A few weeks later, he knocked it out of the park with his version of “Hallelujah,” made popular by the movie Shrek.

After many consistent weeks, he made it all the way to the Top 4. Towards the end of the season, even though the pressure was clearly getting to him, he continued to work hard (contrary to popular belief) and have hit after hit!

Sidenote: Some of my favorite performances were “Fragile”, “I Don’t Wanna Cry”, and “Travelin’ Thru.” His choices of song were almost always daring and slightly offbeat, as evidenced by Lindsay's list here and the songs we chose to highlight below. Though he wasn't always successful, his originality truly made him a standout. Jason, along with Brooke White, brought folk music to the American Idol stage.

Jason just has a great, laid back quality about him and his voice is nice and smooth! I think I could listen to him all day….plus, he just seems like he’s a nice guy! I was thrilled he made it as far as he did and I can’t wait to buy his first album (you know I’m going to!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy the clips Marc and I picked out for you!

18 Days to American Idol

“I don’t say this lightly… that performance was on a par with Whitney Houston, Celine Dion. Seriously! Honestly, Tamyra, it was one of the best performances on TV I have ever, ever seen, in my life. It was superb! Amazing!”

-- Simon Cowell, about Tamyra Gray’s performance of “A House Is Not A Home,” Season 1


Another early favorite, another shocking 4th place elimination. Actually, this was the first of AI’s shocking late round eliminations.

Back when AI first premiered, I wrote it off, protesting what I thought would be the “fad” of reality television. Boy was I wrong… about the show and about reality television in general. Looking back, I wish I had embraced it sooner, because I missed what looks like an incredible season. I have since seen most of it on AI rewind, and I’ve watched countless clips on the web. Had I been watching, I would have been pulling for a Tamyra/Kelly finale.

While she’s gone on to appear on TV and most recently as Mimi on Broadway in Rent, she helped make American Idol the powerhouse that it is now. More than just being a remarkable singer, she’s a crazy talented performer. Check out her stage presence in “A Fool in Love.” And with performances like “A House Is Not A Home” and “Touch Me In the Morning,” it’s a wonder that she didn’t fare better than fourth, not that has held her back since.

19 Days to American Idol

“Be sure of yourself. Know who you are and no matter if you make it, you know in your heart you are still a star.”

-- George Huff, www.americanidol.com


Season 3 of American Idol was what I consider to be a mediocre season, especially where male talent was concerned. On the heels of Ruben’s upset win over Clay the previous year, the women stepped up and greatly overshadowed the men. George Huff was that season’s last man standing, and he was voted off in 5th place.

I remember George as talented singer who struggled throughout the season with consistency and confidence. His greatest strength, other than his deep soulful voice, was his personality. He radiated warmth, sincerity, and positivity. He was one of those performers who took the judges’ advice to heart. From week to week, you could tell that he worked to improve upon his weaknesses. And improve, he did. He was an underdog, for sure, up against the likes of LaToya London, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia Barrino, and Diana DeGarmo; but when he chose the right song and connected with the audience, he made quite the impression. By the end of his run in the competition, he had come into his own.

Today’s entry goes out to Natala, who sang his praises when I first told her about my plans for the countdown and reminded me of the magic he brought to the American Idol stage.

20 Days to American Idol

“The best thing about your voice is…. you tell a story with your song. You convey a story and it moves and touches everyone in this whole building.”

--Paula Abdul, about Jennifer Hudson’s performance of “I Believe in You and Me,” Season 3

(Today's entry is brought you by Lindsay Hemphill)

When Jennifer Hudson stepped foot onto the American Idol stage, there was no denying her incredible voice, though I would have denied some of her outfits! For a majority of contestants, the judges say, “Don’t sing Whitney” or “Don’t sing Mariah” because they have huge songs that only they can sing with their huge voices! Well, J-Hud was one of the few exceptions to that rule within the American Idol universe. She walks out on that stage (screen, too) and demands your attention.

Jennifer knew that she didn’t need to win American Idol for her to get the career she had been dreaming about since singing in church as a little girl! As we all know, what happened after American Idol is the real story. She beat out hundreds of other actresses for the dream role of Effie in Dreamgirls. I saw that movie when it came out on Christmas Day a couple years ago. I was captivated by her performance! Even moved to tears on more than one occasion. People were applauding in the theatre (which, in DC, is practically unheard of)!

J-Hud has taken a seventh place finish on Season 3 of American Idol, and turned it into one of the most successful post-Idol stories ever! She’s the only Idol to have gotten the notoriety and validation as both a singer and an actress (complete with an Oscar win)! This year, she released her debut album, several years in the making, and has appeared in two feature films. I know that we have not heard the last of Jennifer Hudson!

21 Days to American Idol

“Every ounce of you is totally authentic to who you are.”

-- Paula Abdul, about Brooke White’s performance of “Hero,” by Mariah Carey, Season 7


First off, quintessential incoherent Paula comment. But beyond the redundancy, Paula captures the appeal of a contestant like Brooke.

I loved Brooke from the very beginning of Season 7, and momentarily, she was my favorite. She had little range and versatility, but like Paula said, she was possibly the most authentic contestant in American Idol’s seven seasons. Everything, from the tone of her voice to her look to her song choices, identified her as a quality folk musician. She stripped away the affectation, opting for simple arrangements that focused on the lyrics, infusing her songs with layers of meaning.

Brooke’s pursuit of the title derailed most when she tried to mix things up and do too much. She’s not, nor will she ever be a pop starlet. Instead, she’s a grown-up singer-songwriter. In the vein of Carole King, Joni Mitchell, and Sarah McLaughlin, her strength is in unplugged storytelling. She doesn’t need bombastic orchestration or back-up singers. Give her a guitar or piano and her voice, and she’ll be just fine.

“Let It Be” is one of my favorite AI performances for those very reasons.

22 Days to American Idol

“Finally, the show has started. This is unbel… Dude, you’re the best that I’ve heard every week since we started the show. WOW! WOW! WOW!”

-- Randy Jackson, about Latoya London’s performance of “All By Myself,” Season 3


LaToya is the first of several 4th place finishers that we plan to feature. She’s in pretty lofty company, what with the likes of Tamyra Gray, Chris Daughtry, Jason Castro, and LaKisha Jones all bowing out in that position. Superb talent falling a bit short of expectations and potential. All were early favorites and serious threats to win, but for one reason or another, they failed to build enough of a fan base or to motivate their fans enough to vote.

In a season overloaded with soulful R&B singers, there was no denying LaToya’s talent. Her problem, perhaps, was a lack of individuality, an absence of that one quality screaming, “LATOYA.” Regardless, there was no denying her superior vocal abilities, as evidenced by the clips below. Her delivery was straightforward, infused with emotion and playfulness. She was my Season 3 favorite.

While Diana DeGarmo proved to be a worthy finalist, I have always felt that a LaToya/Fantasia finale would have been much more interesting, and much more competitive.

23 Days to American Idol

“You didn’t give me chills. I think you managed with what you could.”

-- Simon Cowell, about Kristy Lee Cook’s Top 7 Performance of “Forever,” by Mariah Carey, Season 7


The “chills” were a reference to Mariah Carey’s assessment of KLC’s version of “Forever.” High praise from the Pop Diva, herself, for Season 7’s overachieving country girl. But Simon’s comments encapsulate the uphill battle she fought from the very beginning of the competition. Still, KLC earns the spotlight here over other middling AI contestants for several reasons.

First, she never backed down from the mountain of opposition placed in front of her early on in the competition. Her early performances were admittedly weak, and she could have easily been voted off much earlier than she was. Instead, she embraced the negative criticism and used it to her advantage with the voters. She was self-deprecating, putting on a brave face regardless of how much it might have hurt her confidence.

Second, she stepped up, playing the competition like a game. Her song choices were thinly veiled attempts to connect with, and even pander to the voters. Still, it worked. “God Bless the USA” was as transparent a song choice as they come, but it kept her in the competition. She followed it up with “Anyway,” a Martina McBride song clearly in her wheelhouse. The lyrics were all about perseverance, never giving up despite people trying to bring you down. It was as if she were singing it directly to Simon, who clearly wanted her gone. It helped that she knocked it out of the park, but she still survived another week.



Finally, she worked hard and showed improvement. It was evident in her journey, and despite the fact that I didn’t care for her as a singer, I respected her fortitude and her moxie. Her swansong performance of “Forever” earned her a place in my heart, and a place in my countdown.

24 Days to American Idol

“This! Is! American! Idol!”

-- Ryan Seacrest, Host


This sweet phrase, uttered two to three times a weeks for four months each winter/spring with various emphasis and inflection, heralds the arrival of the defining pop culture phenomenon of the 21st century.

In 24 short days, the search beings for the next pop princess, country and western star, rhythm and blues crooner, rock and roll front man. The search begins for the next American Idol!

I love this show for the music. Crazy talent, each contestant reaching for their own brass ring. Passionate, dedicated artists finding their identities and finding their voices. Despite the trite video packages, lame themes, incoherent blabbering, homophobic banter, and pointless filler, the show offers moments of pure magic.

Each day, until the premiere of Season 8, Lindsay (my BFF) and I will be bringing you some of those magic moments. While the only thing we intend to count down are the days until the premiere, we will be posting clips of our favorite performers and performances from the first seven seasons. So sit back and enjoy some tremendous AI memories. Rediscover why you’re a diehard fan, like us, or become a diehard fan, like us.

To start things off, I present a sampling from the audition rounds. Behold, the triumph of taking that first step towards a dream.

The audition that started it all: Kelly Clarkson




When "wholesome family values" prevent, or in this case, delay a star from being born: Frenchie Davis



When American Idol finally embraced the homosexual population: Leo Marlowe



Who says AI auditions can't be good AND funny: Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin



Despite the size comment, there's no denying talent when you hear it: Mandisa

TV Theme Song Quiz

"Thank you for being a friend,
Travel down the road and back again.
Your heart is true,
your a pal and a confidante.
And if you threw a party
you invited everyone you knew,
you would see
the biggest gift would be from me,
and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend!"

-- Golden Girls, Theme Song

The theme song for a television show quickly becomes its calling card. In a few quick notes, a flood of images appear, recalling beloved characters, tragic and triumphant storylines, laughs, tears, and angst. These days, theme songs have given way to very brief musical interludes, sometimes lasting only a few seconds over a screen shot of the show's title.

In honor of this dying art form, I present this video montage, found online, of TV themes in quiz form. See how many you can guess. Lindsay and I were able to collectively get 24 out of the 27 highlighted here. And afterwards, I dare you to disagree with me over the importance and relevance of the TV Theme Song. Good Luck!

MMMM... Shrimp Cocktail!

“Gay marriages will save the economy!”

-- Prop 8: The Musical

The beauty of comedy and satire is its ability to diffuse emotionally charged, contentious situations to reveal the underlying truths. I’ve written before about the atrocity that is the passing of Proposition 8 in California, so you know how I feel (along with just about every other gay and/or reasonable person in this country). Besides being absolutely HILARIOUS, it turns the argument against gay marriage completely on its ear! Watch and enjoy!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Thankful

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

-- Anonymous

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. The food… the football… family and friends. And my annual, food-coma induced nap on the couch! Despite the daily struggles, I am truly thankful for so much this year. My List includes (in no particular order):

· My nephew and godson
· My brother, sister-in-law, and a new nephew or niece arriving in 2009
· Jay Brannan
· DGMS and Recrappers Anonymous
· Lindsay, Natala and Matt, Maria and James, Tara and Scott, Tiffany, Gina and Mike
· American Idol, and David Cook beating David Archuleta
· Being employed
· Luke and Noah on As The World Turns
· Friday Night Lights, Ugly Betty, The Office, 30 Rock, Pushing Daisies, House, Eli Stone, GREEK, Chuck, Brothers and Sisters, SYTYCD, and Firefly
· The return of 24
· Tina Fey
· Netflix
· Rent
· Altar Boyz
· President-Elect Barack Obama
· DVR
· TVGASM, and poetry of Flipit
· Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
· Fafarazzi
· The Olympic Movement (and Matthew Mitcham’s gold medal victory)
· Fantasy Football
· Yummy of the Day
· YouTube

Happy Thanksgiving!

Me and Jay in Philly

Fat is a feeling… not a shape.

-- Jay Brannan, 2008 World Tour

Jay and I, after his show in Philly.

Yesterday, I had the privilege to volunteer for the 2nd North American swing on Jay Brannan’s Fat is a Feeling… Not A Shape Tour. In many respects, Jay is a one-man show. He travels without an entourage (most of the times). While he’s not alone in this venture, he was very much alone yesterday in Philadelphia. When a call went out to his fans looking for volunteers to help sell his merchandise at his shows, I jumped on board (perhaps too aggressively) to help.

The artist in me has long been dormant, and I started this blog, in part, to help reconnect with my writing. My inspiration for this blog, as you all know, is Jay. (If you didn’t, go back and read my inaugural post.) Courageously, he has embraced his talents and committed himself to pursuing a career in music and performance. He has created his own label, Great Depression Records, and he is currently financing this tour on his own. For the time being, he’s quit his day job, and had devoted the past 5 months to his music.

Things aren’t happening TO Jay; he’s making things happen for himself. I admire this more than anything else about him.

I arrived at Johnny Brenda’s Tavern in Philly incredibly early and hunkered down at the bar to wait until I was needed. Before long, the venue’s manager escorted me upstairs, along with fellow volunteers Howard and Marc, to meet Jay and learn the ropes. For what could have taken all of 5 minutes, Jay spent half an hour with us, chatting and sharing some stories from the foreign legs of his tour. And he had the venue put the merchandise table in the performance space so that his volunteers could enjoy the show, too.

Jay's merchandise, available for purchase at www.jaybrannanstore.com

Jay got sick somewhere in France, and despite struggling with illness and the ensuing threat to his voice, he soldiered on to Australia to perform for his fans. Despite circumnavigating the globe, he lamented not being able to enjoy the exotic locations he was visiting. He seemed weary and drained, and understandable so. He could have cancelled his performance last night and focused on recovering. Instead, he rented a car and drove up from NYC to Northampton, MA for his show the previous night, only to get up yesterday morning to drive the 6 hours down to Philadelphia for the show last night. He was full of apologies – for being sick and for possibly not being able to put on as good a show as he would have liked. There was no need to apologize.

Another talented folk musician, Aiden James, opened the show. This was my first experience with Aiden’s music, and I was impressed with his similar commitment to the music, to his art. He played a collection of songs I was hearing for the first time. I need to do more investigating, but I enjoyed his set immensely.

Shortly after Aiden’s set, Jay took the stage, and it was as if he was transformed. I hadn’t noticed this from when I saw him in DC. The show in July was the second on his tour. Goddamned had just dropped, and performance-wise, he was obviously fresher. Still, he was apologetic, cracking jokes about contracting SARS and suggesting that we interpret his coughing as percussive accompaniment. Having had an opportunity to spend some time with the “real” Jay, I’m struck by his genuine love for his music, for performing, and for his fans. And hearing him sing after the experiences he’s logged over the past several months, it was as if I were falling in love with his music all over again.

There were two surprises during the show last night. One was the introduction of a Christmas song he has penned. I didn’t catch a title, and I forgot to ask him after the show. It was traditional, melancholy Jay, about the holiday stripped of its magic. I could relate to it in a very real way (and I’m looking forward to the video clip on YouTube!!!). The other surprise was the performance of his new song, Denmark. Hypnotizing, haunting, and lyrically complex, I like to think this song marks a possible shift in Jay’s music. I (possibly wrongfully so) interpret a bit of hope in the tone of it. Let me know what you think.



Jay’s set included some, though not all of my favorites. I’ll forgive him, though, because he put everything he had into his performance last night. You could tell he was fighting to hit some of the notes, and I appreciate that kind of dedication. Jay even invited the crowd to sing along to help cover it up. For those of you keeping track, here is what he played:

Can’t Have It All
Death Waltz
Soda Shop
Straight Outta Compton
(Outro, I Kissed a Girl)
Jay’s Christmas Song
Housewife
Goddamned
Denmark
Half Boyfriend
Home

Like all good things, the show had to come to an end, but not before Howard and I got two separate shout-outs for volunteering. I felt like such a star! Just as in DC, Jay came out to sign autographs, and take pictures. And I certainly didn’t mind that he did so right next to me! I love that he takes the time to thank his fans, as there’s a genuine appreciation there. (And I got an education as how NOT to act!)

The crowd quickly thinned, and Howard and I shut down the merchandise table. Before heading out, I told Jay that I needed a picture with him, and he was only too happy to oblige. By that time, he was winding down and getting ready for the drive back to NYC. He asked if I wanted him to take off his scarf and glasses, to which I said NO. As we posed for our picture, I told him that he looked fantastic, and he thanked us for helping out.

All in all, it was another wonderful experience. I’ve always admired the artist, but I have a new appreciation for the man. And I’m looking forward to seeing him again in NYC next month as he closes out his 2008 world tour.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. THANK YOU, JAY!

True Equality

“It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collections of red states and blue states, we are, and always will be, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!”

-- President-Elect Barack Obama, 11/4/08

I cannot adequately describe my emotions from this past Tuesday. I woke up early to get in line at the polls for when they opened at 7am here in Pennsylvania. After waiting in anticipation for about an hour, I finally entered through the curtains of my booth, and proceeded to cast my ballot for Senator Obama. Nerves gave way to exhilaration, and I left feeling strong and empowered.

After an anxious day at work, I sped home to start watching the returns. At the close of each hour, my fears abated as it became more and more clear what the outcome would be. For months, I watched one candidate speak to the masses about hard work, cooperation, hope, and change while the other candidate pandered to his base, misrepresented the facts, and resorted to name-calling and mud-slinging.

On taxes, the economy, war, health care, foreign and domestic policy, I’m at a loss of comprehension. The dollar amounts thrown around during the campaign are staggering, and mean little in comparison to my income and net wealth. Instead, I tried to filter the candidate’s ideas and proposals through my own personal circumstances. I stood to gain more from Obama than from McCain, so in that respect, I took a seat to the left. And while these are all important issues, there’s still one I cannot compromise.

I’ve spent the past 15+ years struggling to come to grips with my sexuality – to accept myself as a gay man and to find acceptance within my network of family and friends. So far, I’ve been able find support from which I can draw confidence and pride. The journey hasn’t been easy, and I still have a ways to go. Still, as I become more and more comfortable with who I am, I am experiencing something new and disturbing – discrimination.

While official results are not in from California’s controversial Proposition 8, the current vote tally indicates that it will likely pass. The official ballot language is “Eliminates Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” No further examination of the issue is necessary. The residents of the state of California, by majority, have voted to amend the constitution to define marriage as an institution between a man and woman. In doing so, they are effectively overturning the state’s Supreme Court ruling that same-sex marriage is a fundamental right. In other words, they chose to incorporate discrimination into their state’s constitution. Florida and Arkansas enacted similar measures this election cycle, and other states have already moved in that direction.

I view marriage as two separate institutions, one as religious and one as civil. Under the rule of a government predicated on keeping church and state separate, so should these institutions be kept separate and mutually exclusive. While it would be nice to someday be married within the church, it is not a right I seek at this moment. However, I firmly believe in equality and fairness under the law. As a citizen, I expect to be afforded the same rights and privileges available to every other citizen of this country, and that includes those rights and privileges guaranteed to married individuals. Currently, that is not the case.

President-Elect Obama has said that he does not support gay marriage. And for all intents and purposed, I don’t either. Rather, he believes in civil unions and gay equality – a stance I completely support. The hang-up, as I see it, is on the word “marriage.” The religious ceremony has become synonymous with the civil practice to the point where many cannot separate the two. Because the church does not condone gay marriage should have no bearing on the state’s position on the issue.

Homosexuality is not a choice, but a matter of biology. Because I am sexually attracted to someone of the same sex should not preclude me from partnering with another man as a married couple and accessing the rights afforded to heterosexual couples. Denying me those rights on the basis of my sexuality is the same as denying anyone those rights based on race, ethnicity, gender, or religious affiliation. I don’t care what it’s called, as long as I have access to those rights.

I wonder how vehement the outrage would be if the rights and privileges afforded to heterosexual couples under the institution of marriage were “eliminated,” as Prop 8 does for same-sex couples. And yet, a majority of California’s citizens chose strip those rights from members of the gay community.

In this country’s two centuries old history, we have taken progressive steps to remove discrimination from the United States Constitution, moving closer and closer to true equality. Obama’s inclusion of the gay community so profoundly in his victory speech late Tuesday night gives me renewed hope that he will, indeed, bring about change.

Back from the Dead

Happy Halloween, everyone! I thought it'd be appropriate to announce today that as of Sunday, I will be back from the dead. My event is tomorrow, and life can return to normal shortly thereafter. I've got tons to share, so stay tuned!

Must See (Off) Broadway - Altar Boyz

As my loyal readers (all 4 of you!) know, Lindsay and I went to see a friend of hers in NYC who was performing in the Off-Broadway show, Altar Boyz. It was truly an incredible show, and an unforgettable night! We got to meet the cast, and Ravi took us barhopping in Manhattan. (You can check out the details from my post on September 1st.)

Well, Ravi has been permanently cast in the show. CONGRATS, RAVI!!! If you find yourself in NYC and would like to take in a (relatively) inexpensive show, I highly recommend Altar Boyz. And be sure to stick around afterwards and say HI to Ravi for me!

For a preview, check out this video:

http://www.broadway.com/Behind-the-Scenes-Backstage-with-Off-Broadway-s-Altar-Boyz/broadway_video/5011833

GREEK Recap - Episode 2.05, See You Next Time, Sisters

“Playing it safe is what you do when you’re afraid. Let me tell you something else I wish I’d known when I was young. There are very few things worth being afraid of.”

-- Congresswoman Paula Baker, GREEK

Some of my fondest memories of college are tied to my experience pledging the Greek system, and some of my closest friends are my brothers and sisters in Zeta Phi Eta. Nostalgia attracted me to the ABC Family original Series, GREEK, and the quality of the show has keep me coming back for more.

Entertainment Weekly stopped recapping the show, and I haven’t been able to find an adequate replacement. I’ve decided to take a stab at writing one myself. I hope you like it. I’ll start with this week’s episode, and if I have time to backtrack, I’ll queue up the DVR and recap the rest from this season.

---------------

This week, Greek’s new power couple, Casey and Max, expands their horizons apart from each other. But before Casey leaves to attend Zeta Beta Zeta’s national convention and Max overcomes difficulties in planning his annual Honors Engineering “Galileo” theme party, they flirt and boost each other’s morale. While Casey looks to figure out her future, Max tells her, “You can do anything, because you’re amazing.” They kiss, and I die a little inside. Max is the embodiment of my idea of the perfect man, except that he’s straight. Casey, you’re a lucky girl. Don’t let this one go.

Casey’s adventure takes her to a convergence of pink and super-earnest sisterhood in Orlando. Oh, the pageantry, thinly veiled cattiness, white teeth, and high pitched squealing. Ashleigh, suddenly interested in history as a result of her new job as an admissions tour guide at CRU, can’t see the forest through the trees, or in this case, the politics through the posturing. Meanwhile, Frannie takes this opportunity to use the convention’s open forum to legitimize her ZBZ presidential ambitions by introducing a proposal to remove the by-law prohibiting sisters removed from a particular office from ever holding that position in the future.

Naturally, Casey feels threatened by Frannie’s renewed ruthlessness and sets out to prevent the passage of said proposal. She and Frannie divide and conquer the votes on the Grand Council. Shameless campaigning and politicking ensues, though it looks as though Frannie has the edge until an opportunity arises for Casey to tip the scales in her favor. Teagen wants Lizzie gone, and if Casey can get her to quit, Casey gets the deciding vote on the Council. It doesn’t take much manipulation for an already unappreciated and beaten-down Lizzie to be persuaded to leave ZBZ for pinker pastures, where her energy and effervescence will be appropriately valued. After a few drinks and a pep talk, Lizzie goes to tell Teagen off. Casey gets what she wants, but at a cost she’s not comfortable with.

With the sage advice of an anonymous older Zeta Beta sister (“Playing it safe is what you do when you’re afraid.”), Casey has an attack of conscience. She enlists Ashleigh’s help, and after a new pep-talk and a slammin’ makeover, Lizzie announces that she’s not going anywhere. In a confrontation that sets the stage for a contentious election back at CRU, it’s Casey’s turn to tell Frannie off. She throws down the gauntlet, saying she can’t wait to kick her ass. AWESOME! We also learn that the mysterious sister who helped Casey overcome her fear of Frannie is a congresswoman, and suddenly, Casey’s eyes are opened to politics beyond the ZBZ house.

Back on campus, Rusty intervenes to help Kappa Tau solve their code violation problems and Max solve his party planning problems. He offers the Kappa Tau house as the location for the Galileo party, and Cappie runs with the idea of renting out the house to raise the funds needed to fix the sprinkler system and the eight other violations that threaten to shut the house down if not addressed. But by bringing Max and Cappie together, he causes Cappie’s own crisis of confidence, becoming jealous of Max and his ADJ (Aerosol Death Juice, a homemade libation that “maximizes inebriation), his hangover cure, and his relationship with Rusty. Icing on the cake, Cappie’s spirit breaks when he finds out that Max and Casey are dating. On the plus side, Cappie and Dale bond over their dislike of Max.

In a moment of drunken bravado, Cappie confronts Rusty, asking, “Tell me Rusty, the rumor true? In the blind taste test, do the Cartwright kids prefer Maxwell House to Folgers? And by Maxwell House, I mean Max, and by Folgers, I mean Cappie.” Subtle, but heartbreakingly effective. Having just been dumped by Rebecca, he sees his little brother’s affections slipping away to an uncool romantic rival. After the party, as Cappie’s ready to throw in the towel, Max shows up with a crew of engineering students to help clean up, fix the house’s sprinkler system and get the rest of the house into shape. As a peace offering, he offers some of his patented hangover cure and their invention of a DVR that detects and records porn from anywhere in the world (how are these kids NOT millionaires by now?!?!?!). And Rusty seeks romantic advice from Cappie about how to approach a girl in his Lit class… Miley Montana. In the process, Cappie’s ego is saved.

Elsewhere, Evan becomes even more unlikable. He is clearly feeling smothered by Frannie and takes her absence as an opportunity to play the field. In the process, he motivates Calvin to cheat on his boyfriend. Yes, Calvin’s relationship with Michael, the grad assistant, is already doomed, but Evan’s impassioned speech about following impulses and sowing wild oats sends Calvin back into former fling, Heath’s bed. Later, Calvin finds out that Evan wasn’t ready to break up with Frannie and never went through with his own night of debauchery. Way to go, Evan!

And finally, Beaver is still smokin’ hot and adorably dimwitted. Next week, Rusty hooks up with Ashleigh (WHAT?!?!?!) and Evan makes another play for Casey, putting her budding romance with Max in jeopardy. NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Remembering the Love

It’s time now, to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love
(You know that life is a gift from up above)
Remember the love
(Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love
(Measure, measure your life in love)

-- “Seasons of Love,” Rent

Rent closed its 12 year run on Broadway on Sunday, September 7th, 2008. The final performance was filmed and released into theaters this week for a special limited engagement. I just got back from seeing it, and not surprisingly, I’m filled with emotion.

At its core, Rent is about individual souls transformed by the power of love. Imperfect, irrational, and oftentimes fleeting, love is still that entity which shapes our humanity.

Life can be dark, bleak, and oppressive, filled with struggle, strife, sorrow, and pain. Yet, even in those moments of deepest despair, a gesture of compassion, kindness, or concern can be supremely uplifting. Right now, I’m thinking about those people in my life – family, friends – whom I love and who love me. They provide the joy in my life, a happiness that carries me through the difficult times. They give my life meaning and purpose. They make me glad to be alive.

Today, I remember the love. Today, I celebrate those who have taught me about love.

The cast of Rent during the curtain call of Sept. 7th's final performance on Broadway.

About to take a Sick (of this Bullshit) Day

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

-- Jack Torrence, The Shining

In keeping with the spirit of my blog, “I Wanna Be A Housewife,” I’m about the bitch and complain about work.

Let’s make one important distinction. I love my profession. I love my career. The work that I’ve chosen to do, non-profit fundraising, is fulfilling. At the end of the day, I can at least take heart in the greater goodness of my efforts. I don’t think I would be able to muddle through the office politics, inefficiencies, conflict, frustrations and aggravations were it not for the altruism behind my work.

That being said, even the most honest rationalization doesn’t change the fact that earning a living can be stressful, demoralizing and soul-crushing. I currently find myself in the midst of one such scenario. While I can point fingers in many different directions identifying root causes, I also point one at myself. I am not free from blame, by any stretch of the imagination. I allowed the pervasive discontent within my office to take hold and stymie my own motivation. The result is a very large, very unpleasant bag of shit. Though I am equally to blame, I can safely say the rancor permeating the office, and those responsible for it, are just as much to blame. Yet, they never seem to step up and take responsibility for their actions, or lack thereof.

I could whine about this for hours, but I know that I will encounter variations of this theme everywhere. Changing jobs will never solve the issue; rather, it will just alter the circumstances. A personality, management style, policy, bureaucracy, or any number of other factors will rub me the wrong way. The key is finding that place with the fewest number of irritating factors.

Several times over the past few weeks, I’ve seriously considered quitting my job. Without a safety net. Without a plan. That’s how torn up I’ve been. Seeing all of those Wall Street fat cats who are getting paid millions to fuck up royally hasn’t helped. Seeing self-involved, spoiled celebutants indulge in ridiculous excess hasn’t helped. The supreme unfairness of it all gets under my skin.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice. Until my Prince Charming shows up and steals me off with him to his castle, I must remain in the trenches, toiling away to keep a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table. Only now, I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later. Like today…? Any takers?

Oh well… I guess I’ll just go buy some Powerball tickets in the meantime.

Power of Veto

“It worries me to think that people like April can vote in the presidential election, let alone BB: Whenever you see a particularly manipulative and blatantly misleading attack ad on TV, just know that somewhere out there, it is working on April.”

-- Josh Wolk, EW.com, “Big Brother”: Renegade Kids

Yes, I’m a fan of Big Brother, but don’t let my guilty pleasure fool you. Beneath my affinity for mindless trash lies an inquisitive mind willing to look beneath the surface to find a deeper value.

A bunch of strangers are locked into a “house” for more than two months with no connection whatsoever to the outside world. While inside, their goal is to manipulate their way through the game to avoid eviction by their housemates to be one of the last two standing. At that point, seven of those evicted decide who wins the half million dollar prize. Naturally, petty drama and hilarious hijinks ensue. What’s not to love!

In actuality, Big Brother is an impressive study of psychology, duplicity, and cunning. With cameras constantly rolling, the houseguests often forget they are being recorded, and occasionally, the viewer gets a glimpse into the actual person, warts and all--insecurities, conceit, naiveté, gullibility, and a myriad of other characteristics most of us try so hard to hide while being observed. The show is completely voyeuristic, and much of its appeal lies in the hope of getting a glimpse into these people’s truest selves.

I was never a fan of April’s (one of this season’s bitchy beauties), but this particular observation about her character brings a little understanding. April is the type of person too self-involved to see beyond herself and take into account the bigger picture. Her animosity towards certain other houseguests is completely legitimate; yet, she fails to consider the context of her betrayal. She and 12 others entered the Big Brother house to play a game with a significant cash prize. Bonds made within the house are inevitable, but loyalty is fleeting when everyone is trying to win. While most of the evicted houseguests acknowledge this dynamic, April has shown that she is incapable of letting things go.

Often, life is ruled by emotion. Poor decisions are made when we allow our emotions to get the better of us. It leads to impulsiveness and reactivity. Common sense goes out the window in favor of spite, jealousy and fear. While it ultimately does not matter who she will vote for to win Big Brother, April signifies a tendency for society to lean towards irrationality. Gossip masquerades as fact. Half-truths and outright lies take root because of clever spin or carefully crafted messaging. It’s sad how easily hoodwinked so many of us can be, and it’s scary to think about how a little thoughtlessness can be disastrous for so many others.

Still, despite this prevalent tendency, I have faith that the majority will harness their skills of reason to make the right decisions. The saying goes that hindsight is 20/20, but foresight doesn’t have to be blind.

And who said that I only watch Big Brother for the eye-candy?!?!?! (Insert eye-candy here)

BB10 contestant, Memphis, in all his ripped glory!

The Serendipity of Spontaneity

“You know The Bible tells you God's the one that made you
So get out on the dance floor and shake what He gave you!”

-- “Rhythm In Me,” Altar Boyz

Ravi Roth, who plays Abraham in Altar Boyz, and Lindsay Hemphill outside the New Worlds Stage Theater

By nature, I’ve never been a spontaneous person. Most times, I’m too practical, and I tend to shy away from risk taking. Once in a while, I throw caution to the wind and genuinely roll with the punches. Such was the case this weekend.

A few weeks back, Lindsay learned that an old friend of hers from music camp, Ravi Roth, was starring in the off-Broadway musical, Altar Boyz. Her first instinct was to try to get up to NY from Virginia to see him and celebrate his accomplishment. I offered my spare bedroom and to join her, as I’m a native New Yorker with knowledge of and comfort with Manhattan. (It should also be mentioned that I had some selfish motives, wanting to experience musical theater from a true insider and possibly getting to meet Neil Haskell of SYTYCD fame!) She reconnected with Ravi, and in the process, found out that his run was coming to an end shortly. Other plans prevented this from becoming a reality, so with much disappointment, we abandoned the idea.

Then, this week, Lindsay finds out that Ravi’s run in the show had been extended until September 2nd! Our plans for Lindsay to visit me next weekend were falling apart because I have to work next Sunday. Labor Day had already been ruled out because of other plans that I had made. A small window of opportunity existed, and I arranged my plans to open up as much of this weekend as I could. Lindsay coordinated with Ravi, and in the blink of an eye, the itinerary was set. Lindsay would drive up early on Sunday morning and we’d travel into Manhattan in time to catch the 7pm performance.

We arrived in midtown around 5:30pm, and immediately purchased our tickets, discounted thanks to Ravi. We settled in at a Starbucks to kill some time. After some texts between Lindsay and Ravi, he and two other castmates greeted us there. Lindsay was sufficiently excited to see her old friend, and I was sufficiently star-struck. I truly admire those with the talent and courage to perform, and even though I like to think I’m cool, calm, and collected, I couldn’t seem to control the butterflies when I’m around “famous” people. I must have seemed like a dork! As surreal as that experience was, it was truly only the tip of the iceberg!

Lindsay and I made our way over to the theater just before showtime and settled into our seats (which were incredible, I might add). Ten minutes later, the house lights went down, and the show began. For the next 90 minutes, I couldn’t stop smiling. The show is a HILARIOUS take on a fictional Christian pop music boy band – satirizing the formulaic make-up of boy bands, pop culture proselytizing, and the dichotomy between religion and fame. Intelligently written, fantastically staged, and amazingly performed, Lindsay and I enjoyed as close to a perfect theater experience as is possible, made even more memorable because of Lindsay’s personal connection with Ravi. She was beaming with awe and pride, and I felt lucky just to be there.

Naturally, we waited by the stage door for Ravi and the cast to come out. In that time, I purchased the CD and we raved about how good the show was. Finally, the cast came out, and Ravi introduced us to the rest of the cast. Lindsay and I did the fan thing, getting autographs and photos. I was humbled at how personable and gracious the actors were, which I believe was more than just because Ravi and Lindsay are old friends. I came to learn that they are mostly young, struggling actors who are making the most of the opportunity and enjoying the attention. (I will interject that Neil is just as HOT in person as on TV, though I imagined him taller than he actually is!)

(l to r) Mauricio Perez (Juan), Michael Kadin Craig (Matthew), Neil Haskell (Luke), Lindsay Hemphill, Ravi Roth (Abraham), Travis Nesbitt (Mark), and ME

Already, the experience was more than I imagined, but it didn’t end there. After the crowd dispersed, Lindsay, Ravi, and I settled in at the New Worlds Stage bar for some cocktails, and we were soon joined by another of Lindsay and Ravi’s music camp friends – Michael Heights, the production manager for The Lion King on Broadway. Ravi’s best friend, Erin Willis, also met up with us. Erin is a theater actress who just came off the national tour of My Fair Lady. Most of the Altar Boyz cast and crew mingled in the bar with us, and conversation flowed naturally. Lindsay, Ravi, and Michael caught up on old times, and we all got to know each other some, culminating in a round of shots (how else!).

When the bar shut down at 11pm, Lindsay and I were invited to someone’s birthday bash at the Dream Hotel on West 55th Street. We soon learned that we were partying with NYC theater elite, including producer Adam Epstein and the Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Sienna Boggess. After a few drinks there, the mood took us to a different party at another bar back on 47th Street. Among the guests (so I was told) included half the cast of Spring Awakening. We enjoyed a final round of drinks there before calling it a night at 1:30am. We said our goodbyes, and Lindsay and I were off, indulging in one of NY’s famed street cart “dirty water dogs” before getting in the car to make our way back to Pennsylvania.

Lindsay and I, out on the town in Manhattan.

Lindsay and I reveled in the absurdity of it all. I can’t speak for Lindsay, but I felt like I did back in college, standing on the periphery watching the uninhibited indulgence of the acting majors and partaking in the camaraderie and insanity. I willingly left that lifestyle behind me when I moved away from Boston three and a half years ago, and even at that point, I had outgrown that scene. I felt old but surprisingly young and carefree. It was equally refreshing and intoxicating to revisit that part of my life. For one night, I wove in and out of the Manhattan theater scene, all because we took hold of a fleeting opportunity and acted purely on impulse. Our spontaneity was certainly rewarded, and it will be an experience that I don’t soon forget!

Dialogue of the Day - 8.26.08

“It’s like the battle of the Carmen’s. Ladies Figure Skating, Calgary 1988. The Omega Chi were Katarina Witt. Sexy, powerful, Germanic. We were poor Debbie Thomas, just biting it left and right.”

-- Cappie, Greek, “Brothers and Sisters” August 26, 2008

On the heels of the 29th Olympiad and on the verge of the much anticipated Fall TV season, I bring two of my most cherished loves together in the return of Dialogue of the Day.

Greek returned tonight with their season premiere episode, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! Tonight’s plot was framed around Greek Week, complete with an elaborate take on the Olympics. One of the main characters, Cappie, reveals his love for all things Olympic, and as a self-proclaimed Olympic geek, I found a new reason to love him. Among several pitch perfect Olympic references woven perfectly into the episode, Cappie tosses out this figure skating gem that transported me back to my grandmother’s living room while we watched the Witt/Thomas showdown. Brilliant!

Before you roll your eyes over my love for a seemingly trashy teen drama, here me out. On the surface, Greek is a superficial show about frat boys and sorority snobs, college slacking, partying, binge drinking, indiscriminate sex, irrational competition, cattiness, and other post-adolescent, pre-adulthood debauchery. And without looking deeper, it is.

While that is certainly part of why I love this show, its true appeal lies in the complexity of the characters, plot, and interactions. The writing is clever, multilayered and hilarious, highlighting the best aspects of social life in college – the strong friendships and loyalty fostered by the greek system, the juxtaposition between childish tendencies and adult responsibility. Just like everything else, there’s more to it than meets the eye. As a greek myself, there’s also a strong sense of nostalgia that has me reliving my college days on a weekly basis.

If you aren’t a fan, I urge you to give it a shot. If you are, WASN’T TONIGHT’S EPISODE AWESOME?!?!?!

Tribute to an Olympic Champion

“I just want to be known as the Australian diver who did really well at the Olympics. It’s everybody else who thinks it’s special when homosexuality and elite sport go together.”

-- Matthew Mitcham, interview with The Advocate, August 26, 2008

I’ve been MIA from the blog for a while now, mostly because I’ve been immersing myself in the grand global spectacle that is the Olympic Games. And as the 17-day competition draws to a close, I find myself exalted, exhausted, and brimming with pride. Pride in my country, and now, more than ever, in my sexuality. I bring you Matthew Mitcham.

In the months leading up to the games, Mitcham came out publicly during an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald. In the course of the conversation, the reporter asked with whom Mitcham was living. Without hesitation, he responded that he lived with his partner of two years, Lachlan. In an instant, he became a rarity in mainstream sports – an out gay athlete.

If the statistic that 1 in 10 men are gay is to be trusted, there should be dozens, if not hundreds, of gay athletes competing in Beijing. From what I’ve been able to gather, Mitcham is the only out athlete at these Games. When you think about it, it shouldn’t be that surprising. Mitcham isn’t the first athlete to be open about his sexuality, although most come out after they have retired from active competition. And he does enjoy competing in a sport with a documented history of gay participants.

Sports can often be homoerotic. Hugging and ass slapping are all-too-common sights on various fields of play as forms of encouragement and celebration. Then you get images of baseball players adjusting their cups or the star quarterback with his hands between the legs of his offensive lineman hiking the ball at the beginning of each play. Even the apparel is homoerotic – leotards in gymnastics, unitards in wrestling, speedos in swimming and diving, bike shorts in cycling, and tights in figure skating.

Yet, the hyper-masculinity that’s synonymous with sports creates a homophobic environment in the locker room. Numerous professional athletes have expressed an unwillingness to accept a gay teammate. It’s no wonder why gay athletes choose to remain in the closet when being open about their sexuality exposes them to the risk of ridicule and rejection. I can only imagine how torn they must be, having to sacrifice their identity in order to pursue athletic endeavors. This, like so many other aspects of life, is unfair.

But Matthew MItcham has adopted a mindset that I admire and strive to take on myself. His pursuit of sport and his sexuality are mutually exclusive parts of his life with no bearing on the other. Being gay neither helps nor hinders him on the platform as he prepares to dive. And you don’t have to be straight in order to pursue the dream of winning an Olympic gold medal.

Today, Mitcham competed in the finals of the men’s 10 meter platform. He stood in 9th place after the first dive, rising to 2nd going into his final dive. Poised at the edge of the platform, he composed himself to perform a Back 2 ½ Somersault with 2 ½ twists – the most difficult dive being attempted in the competition. He took his time, launched himself off the platform, completed the elements of the dive with precision, and entered the water vertically with zero splash. Three of the seven judges awarded him perfect 10’s, and he earned 112.10 points. That dive, which now stands as the highest scoring dive in Olympic history, vaulted him into the lead, earning him the gold medal and realizing his life-long dream.

I’m proud of him and all that he represents for the gay community. But I am most proud of his desire to be seen as an Olympic champion, regardless of his sexuality. Congratulations, Matthew! I, for one, applaud you.

Dialogue of the Day - 8.8.08

It’s not the triumph but the struggle.

-- NBC Olympic Coverage narration

I live for these 17 days every two years.

I’ve never been an athletic person, nor was I a sports fan growing up. But for some reason, the Olympic Games have always been an obsession of mine. Maybe it’s the incredible sense of nationalism or the purity of amateur athletic competition or the sheer enormity of the spectacle. Maybe it’s just the serious bling or the hot guys in unitards and speedos. I can’t really say for sure. All I know is that I love it, and every two years when the new Olympiad rolls around, I cannot get enough.

The games aren’t perfect. You have to look beyond the growing commercialism, from corporate sponsorships to the inclusion of professional athletes in what should be the pinnacle of amateur sport. And in order to enjoy the actual competition, you have to ignore NBC’s mammoth amount of filler and frustrating broadcasting choices. Occasionally, you’ll get a whiney athlete who cannot accept failure. But for the most part, the strength of the human condition prevails regardless of the result.

For so many of the athletes about to compete in the next two weeks or so, this is their Super Bowl. In sport, it is their finish line. For most, the honor is in participating, in representing their country on a global stage. Perseverance, determination, pride. More than a few underdogs will prevail, overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve the unthinkable. Most will go home without a medal around their neck, but with an experience more precious than gold, silver, or bronze.

The Olympic Spirit, in its truest sense, is about unity through peaceful competition. The world converges in one place and borders disappear. Cultural, ethnic, religious and political differences are forgotten. Sport becomes the common denominator, bringing everyone together. The Olympic movement is an ideal made into reality, and with that comes hope and optimism. In this respect, it’s easy to see the appeal of the Games.

During tonight’s opening ceremonies, harmony was prevalent theme. The message was powerful, and I found my cynicism dissipating. This seems to happen each time the Olympics roll around, and I find myself looking forward to it. For a brief moment, the Olympics give us a glimpse at the possibilities. Peace and harmony, in our lives, in our nations, in our world. It’s not about triumph, but the struggle. We all have the struggle in common, and once we find that common ground, the possibilities can be achieved.

Dialogue of the Day - 8.6.08

Shit is the tofu of cursing.

-- David Sedaris, Reading at George Washington University, Washington D.C., April 5, 2005

After the stress-filled weekend I just had, and an absolutely frustrating week at work thus far, I’m in the mood to go on a mental tangent. This is as good a tangent as any.

Think about it for a second. In the grand spectrum of swear words, “shit” is probably the most innocuous and least offensive. A popular euphemism for just about anything considered undesirable in the context of conversation, its overuse has stripped the word of any significant impact. As a result, you have a mildly offensive, crude word without any real shape, consistency, or flavor.

Tofu, indeed!

Dialogue of the Day - 8.5.08

Come on! It's the media age. We can do it overnight! Britney Spears shaves something or shows something or shows something shaved, and it's around the world in seconds. Trust me, lady, I can make you Mother Teresa — with better boobs.

-- Marc, Ugly Betty
“Bananas for Betty” – Season 2, Episode 10

I love Ugly Betty (and not just because I’m gay), and I love Marc (and not just because of the identical moniker). Quite possibly the gay-friendliest show on television, Ugly is the entire package. Topical and transcendent. Caustic and saccharine. Side-splittingly funny and rip-your-heart-out dramatic. You can find examples of each in every 42 minute episode. Beyond the general hilarity of this quote, think for a moment about what is written between the lines.

In today’s world, everyday people can become celebrities just by posting a video to YouTube or blogging about just about anything. The internet age has brought into existence the 4th dimension. Communities form and function on a virtual landscape that operates in conjunction with and concurrent to the real world. Often, they complement each other. Some use the internet to escape the dreary realities of everyday life. Others use real world events to bolster their virtual image. That can be, in turns, revelatory, exciting, amusing, thought-provoking, sad and shameful.

No matter how mundane the content, there’s an audience out there to consume it. Whether it’s to watch a celebrity train-wreck in progress or the simple beauty of a giggling infant, our every curiosity can easily be satisfied. I, for one, will be watching.

Dialogue of the Day - 8.4.08

No, I'm not gay. And I don't understand why anyone would think, that I'm gay... if... [sighs] Uh... yeah I'm gay.

-- Oscar Martinez, The Office
“Gay Witch Hunt” – Season 3, Episode 1

Let me apologize in advance for my recent focus on the topic of coming out. It’s a big part of my life right now, so I’ll be obsessing for a while. I’ll try to mix things up tomorrow. Until then….

It’s ironic that this was the first episode of The Office that I ever watched. A coworker had been badgering me to watch this show for months. I had resisted because of my general dislike of the television sitcom. I promised to give it a go at the beginning of the 3rd season, and I haven’t looked back! BRILLIANT! Nothing more needs to be said.

Oscar’s character speaks to me on so many levels, but nothing resonates with me more than the line of dialogue above. Those 20 words encapsulate the last 10 years of my life, not including the years it took for me just to accept my sexuality. From an early age, I got the impression that being gay was not a desirable character trait. Despite my early suspicions, I desperately wanted to be normal, to be accepted. Once I began denying it, it became instinct. And the fear of having my family find out ruled my life for so long.

Then, like Oscar, I just gave the farce up. One day, I was asked if I had a boyfriend by an acquaintance who just assumed that I was gay. Innocent enough, and nothing that hadn’t happened before. Caught off-guard, I had to make an instant decision. Recite the well-worn denial, making them feel foolish for making said assumption, or just answer “No,” and simply move on with the conversation. In that instant, I was tired of the charade, and saw no need to perpetuate it in a situation that had little bearing on the rest of my life. I chose the latter.

And you know what? I wasn’t struck by lightening! A lynch mob didn’t storm in and rip me to pieces! The people I was talking with didn’t gasp in shock and disgust and turn their backs on me! In that instant, I finally realized that I would be okay. It still took me a while to overcome my fears, but the experience gave me a push in the right direction. Telling my friends was easy. My family, as you’ve seen, not so much.

But I’m still here, and I’m okay. That’s got to count for something.

Dialogue of the Day - 8.3.08

There’s only now
There’s only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today

-- Mimi, “Another Day” from Rent

There’s no turning back now. Years of hiding my sexuality, followed by months of struggling with the decision to finally come out, and weeks of planning how and when I would do it came to fruition last night. I’m dealing with a completely different set of emotions this morning than I was just 24 hours ago.

My worst fears were proven baseless. At least with my brother and sister-in-law, acceptance was quick. It helped that they harbored strong suspicions for a very long time and had discussed it on several occasions. Our conversation was calm and rational. My sister-in-law was immediately supportive, which means more to me than I can possibly express. For Michael, it took some explaining.

Michael’s only desire was that I be the one to tell him. Having done so, he openly wondered what took me so long. Why did I feel that I couldn’t tell him? Why did I think he would be angry or upset? He felt that I couldn’t trust him enough to tell him sooner. To a certain degree, he was right. Even yesterday, I was prepared to walk out the door and leave our relationship behind. That fact alone betrays my lack of trust in him and how he would react. But with Michael, the “gray areas” are so small. As much as he was right, the reality of the situation is that I trusted him most, enough to tell him first. I hope I was able to adequately express that last night.

It’s funny. I grew up not caring about him one way or the other. We butted heads so often and so vehemently. There was a time when I might have used my sexuality as a way to expose his prejudices and cut him down. But as we grew up, we left all that behind. We found some common ground, built on a mutual foundation of respect, and became close as a result. To me, our friendship was a revelation, completely unexpected and wholly welcomed. Knowing that the knowledge of my true sexuality might put all of that into jeopardy was frightening.

I hope that he knows how much I love and respect him. I hope he knows how much I look up to him and value his opinion. I hope he knows how much I appreciate his support. The journey has only just begun, and having him by my side gives me the strength to push forward.

Dialogue of the Day - 8.2.08

well, that’s the way the fairy tale goes
boy meets girl and they wed with roses
but that’s not the way it seems to be
and i’m pissed that they lied to me
cuz boy meets boy and boy runs away
or girl meets girl and she’s afraid to stay
we end up home alone watching court tv
not living ever after happily

-- Ever After Happily, Jay Brannan

Yesterday was supposed to be the day, like several others before it. A rite of passage in the life of every homosexual. The big reveal. Coming out.

My own personal journey of self-discovery has been filled with a smattering of roadblocks. Accepting my sexuality, in itself, was difficult enough. I've had to overcome a Catholic upbringing that so effectively instilled a sense of guilt and shame, coupled with the bigotry of my old-school Italian family. I spent my adolescence working to escape the oppressive environment I found myself in. Yet, when I accomplished that, I spent more years than I care to admit trying to be "normal." As much as I said that I didn't care what my family thought, I lived in fear that they would find out that I'm gay.

It's taken a long time for me to get to this place in my life. Several times, I've tried to work up the courage to come out to my family, only to have fear pull me back in off the ledge. During the past few months, I've focused on the love that we share as a family. Trusting in that has helped me step up to the edge again, ready to jump off. I keep telling myself that I'll be able to handle the disappointment, sorrow, and even anger, should that be their reaction, because love is beneath it all. It may take some time, but everything will be okay. Better, even.

So I spend the day with my brother yesterday, with every intention of telling him and his wife that I'm gay. The entire time, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to start the conversation. My imagination takes over, and the old fears resurface. Scenarios play out in my head, and I see everything I stand to lose as a result of the conversation I'm trying to breach. I let opportunity after opportunity pass, and I leave without telling them anything.

So, I find myself home, alone, pissed at myself, and letting Jay's music be the soundtrack to my mood. This lyric speaks for itself.

Dialogue of the Day - 7.31.08

Capt. Hammer: This is so nice. / I just might sleep with the same girl twice. /They say it's better the second time. / They say you get to do the weird stuff.

Chorus: We do the weird stuff.

-- "So They Say," from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Act III

Time for a little light-hearted humor! I've already touched upon my newfound fandom for Joss Whedon, and this is where it all started. Dr. Horrible is a three-part original web musical series that sprung from the stilted creativity caused by the writer's strike this past winter. Whedon and company moved forward with it, even after the strike ended, and the result is probably the most entertaining, most original, and most excellent nugget of pop culture I have had the pleasure to experience.

Rest assured that other songs will be featured in days/weeks/months to come. I chose this particular lyric simply because I find it hilarious! Capt. Hammer (, Corporate Tool) is the self-important "hero" of the tale; however, his conceit, womanizing, superiority and questionable motivations truly make him villainous. You know the type - a fame whore with a carefully cultivated public image who revels in every opportunity to take sleazy advantage of the attention he receives.

The zinger here comes by way of the chorus. You've got three young, wide-eyed "fans" who obsess over their fantasies of Capt. Hammer. Like groupies, they'll do anything, including the "weird stuff" in order to get close to the object of their affection. The commentary is sharp and witty, and the presentation, within the song, is truly laugh-out-loud!

I hope you enjoy "So They Say," and I hope it motivates you to watch the entirety of Dr. Horrible. It's still available for free on Hulu.com, or you can download it at iTunes.

Dialogue of the Day - 7.30.08

Ephram: Mom would never have done this to us! She never would have moved us here and gone crazy!

Andy: Don’t be so sure of that!

Ephram: I am sure! Alright, I knew her. You didn’t know her. You were never around. We all just tolerated you.

Andy: Hey, that’s pretty good. What else you got?

Ephram: I wish you died instead of her!

Andy: Well, I wish I did, too, you little bastard!

Ephram: I hate you!

Andy: I hate you right back! Now get in that house!

-- Everwood, “Pilot”

Treat Williams (left) and Gregory Smith as Andy and Ephram Brown.

This is quite possibly my favorite scene in scripted dramatic television. Let me set it up for you.

Andy Brown is a big-shot NYC neurosurgeon – a complete workaholic with an ego the size of the Statue of Liberty. So wrapped up in his practice and the gravitas of saving lives, he completely neglects his family. Ephram is his son, a musical prodigy who resents his father’s absenteeism. On the night of Ephram’s piano recital, Andy ignores his wife’s phone calls and his secretary’s reminders, continuing to work late into the night through the recital. As he is leaving the hospital, he is greeted by police officers delivering the bad news. Julia was in a car accident rushing to get to the recital, and had died.

As a result, Andy realizes the error of his ways and sets out to make things right by moving his family to Everwood, Colorado. An already disaffected and jaded Ephram is angered by this. He has trouble adjusting in school, and gets into a fight defending his father. While Andy tries to be a parent, Ephram shows him the type of respect he feel he deserves – none. This is the resulting exchange. We learn later than Julia had passed through the town as a child. She was so taken by it's beauty that she told Andy (during a conversation about mortality) that Everwood is where she would be if anything were to ever happen to her.

Every word is shouted, razor sharp, and lightening quick. The emotions are raw and real. Ephram’s anger and resentment; Andy’s grief and regret. In a few short lines of dialogue, the monumental pain within each of these characters explodes on screen. The whole construct of family is exposed here as Andy tries to rebuild their lives without Julia. The unrealistic expectations, disappointment, and misplaced trust work together over time to slowly destroy the bonds of family, as evidenced by Andy and Ephram's declarations of hatred. However, an undercurrent of love provides hope in a seemingly hopeless situation. You see Ephram's love for his father by his apparent desire for more involved father, and you see Andy's love for his son by the chilling admission that he would have preferred to have died instead of the woman whose love held the family together.

I don’t think I’ve ever been brought to tears so quickly in my life. I got chills watching it again, in order to transcribe it for you here.

For your viewing pleasure:

Dialogue of the Day - 7.29.08

Noah: You know, not every relationship is destined to fail.

Luke: Maybe not in fantasy land. But in the real world, no, happy endings don’t exist. That’s why romantic comedies don’t have sequels. Nobody gets happily ever after.

-- As the World Turns, July 24, 2008

Actors Van Hansis (left) and Jake Silbermann (right), who play

Luke Snyder and Noah Mayer on As The World Turns.

For my second installment of DOD, I felt compelled to introduce another of my obsessions. Being in training for my future career as a housewife, I have already adopted my soap opera of choice – As the World Turns.

Like any other self respecting gay boy, I had been a fan of soap operas since early childhood. I basically grew up in my grandmother’s kitchen, where her “stories” dominated the midday hours. Along with ATWT, she watched The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, and General Hospital. Because she watched, I watched. For a while, I made her videotape the shows that came on while I was in school. When it became too cumbersome to stay up on all of them, I reluctantly scaled back my viewing to only include GH. I finally gave up on that after my sophomore year in college, when I let a friend borrow my TV for the summer and never got it back (long story for another day).

Fast forward ten years and throw in a DVR, and it was only a matter of time before I picked up soap viewing once again. Truth be told, I probably wouldn’t have returned to daytime television had I not read a news clipping about the impending romantic storyline planned for daytime’s first central gay male character, Luke Snyder on As the World Turns. During the summer of 2007, ATWT planned to introduce a love interest for Luke, marking another first in daytime history. Naturally, I was compelled to see how it would be handled, and thus, the obsession was born.

The character of Noah Mayer arrived in Oakdale in late May, and immediately took up with recently single teen, Maddie, who just happened to be Luke’s best friend. While their straight romance progressed, Luke harbored an unrequited crush on Noah. That is, until a palpable sexual tension began to develop between Luke and Noah. As Noah struggled to come to grips with his sexuality, all types of drama ensued, culminating in Maddie’s heartbreaking discovery that her boyfriend was gay and the triumphant pairing of Luke and Noah.

Now, this being a soap opera, the plot has since worked its way through several ridiculous contrivances, which have included: Luke getting shot by Noah’s homophobic military father (who also murdered Noah’s madame mother and a wealthy town rascal who was about to find out about his crime); Luke’s ensuing paralysis; Noah’s discomfort with being openly gay; Noah’s sham marriage to a female Iraqi refugee (who had a history with Noah’s father); the kidnapping of Noah’s “wife” by his father; Noah’s father’s suicide; and Noah’s near-enlistment in the army. Ongoing false steps made by ATWT producers swirl around the couple’s lack of intimacy. They have kissed on the show maybe half a dozen times in the year that they have been a couple (including a 200+ day run as counted by AfterElton.com), and they have yet to have sex. As trailblazing as this storyline has been in depicting young gay love, they continually treat Luke and Noah’s relationship with kid gloves.

While everything going on around them seems preposterous, their affection for one another remains very real and poignant. Which brings me to today’s DOD. Luke is reacting to the revelation that his father, the honorable Holden Snyder, has been having an extramarital affair. Luke is understandably disillusioned and hurt. Noah tries to rationalize Holden’s actions and assure him that true love does exist. The scene goes on to tap into Luke’s insecurities, stemming from the fact that the two have not had sex, despite Luke’s advances, and from Noah’s prior heterosexual experiences. Noah declares his love for Luke, saying that he wants their first time to be special.

I chose this piece of dialogue because it resonated with me on a more transcendent level. While Luke’s outlook can be viewed as pessimistic and defeatist, it offers a kernel of truth. “Happily Ever After” marks both the idealistic realization of love and the realistic beginning of couplehood. As evidenced by today’s divorce rate, 1 in 2 happy endings don’t pan out. The ones that do make it are weathered by hardship and struggle effectively negating the notion of “Happily Ever After.”

I do believe in love. I’ve witnessed some pretty powerful examples of it in my life, which make me hopeful. But I can understand Luke’s thought process. In the face of so much failure, it’s hard to keep the faith. I hope his character, and ATWT, can remain faithful in telling this honest gay love story, regardless of the outcome.