May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs!
-- Anonymous
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. The food… the football… family and friends. And my annual, food-coma induced nap on the couch! Despite the daily struggles, I am truly thankful for so much this year. My List includes (in no particular order):
· My nephew and godson · My brother, sister-in-law, and a new nephew or niece arriving in 2009 · Jay Brannan · DGMS and Recrappers Anonymous · Lindsay, Natala and Matt, Maria and James, Tara and Scott, Tiffany, Gina and Mike · American Idol, and David Cook beating David Archuleta · Being employed · Luke and Noah on As The World Turns · Friday Night Lights, Ugly Betty, The Office, 30 Rock, Pushing Daisies, House, Eli Stone, GREEK, Chuck, Brothers and Sisters, SYTYCD, and Firefly · The return of 24 · Tina Fey · Netflix · Rent · Altar Boyz · President-Elect Barack Obama · DVR · TVGASM, and poetry of Flipit · Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog · Fafarazzi · The Olympic Movement (and Matthew Mitcham’s gold medal victory) · Fantasy Football · Yummy of the Day · YouTube
Yesterday, I had the privilege to volunteer for the 2nd North American swing on Jay Brannan’s Fat is a Feeling… Not A Shape Tour. In many respects, Jay is a one-man show. He travels without an entourage (most of the times). While he’s not alone in this venture, he was very much alone yesterday in Philadelphia. When a call went out to his fans looking for volunteers to help sell his merchandise at his shows, I jumped on board (perhaps too aggressively) to help.
The artist in me has long been dormant, and I started this blog, in part, to help reconnect with my writing. My inspiration for this blog, as you all know, is Jay. (If you didn’t, go back and read my inaugural post.) Courageously, he has embraced his talents and committed himself to pursuing a career in music and performance. He has created his own label, Great Depression Records, and he is currently financing this tour on his own. For the time being, he’s quit his day job, and had devoted the past 5 months to his music.
Things aren’t happening TO Jay; he’s making things happen for himself. I admire this more than anything else about him.
I arrived at Johnny Brenda’s Tavern in Philly incredibly early and hunkered down at the bar to wait until I was needed. Before long, the venue’s manager escorted me upstairs, along with fellow volunteers Howard and Marc, to meet Jay and learn the ropes. For what could have taken all of 5 minutes, Jay spent half an hour with us, chatting and sharing some stories from the foreign legs of his tour. And he had the venue put the merchandise table in the performance space so that his volunteers could enjoy the show, too.
Jay got sick somewhere in France, and despite struggling with illness and the ensuing threat to his voice, he soldiered on to Australia to perform for his fans. Despite circumnavigating the globe, he lamented not being able to enjoy the exotic locations he was visiting. He seemed weary and drained, and understandable so. He could have cancelled his performance last night and focused on recovering. Instead, he rented a car and drove up from NYC to Northampton, MA for his show the previous night, only to get up yesterday morning to drive the 6 hours down to Philadelphia for the show last night. He was full of apologies – for being sick and for possibly not being able to put on as good a show as he would have liked. There was no need to apologize.
Another talented folk musician, Aiden James, opened the show. This was my first experience with Aiden’s music, and I was impressed with his similar commitment to the music, to his art. He played a collection of songs I was hearing for the first time. I need to do more investigating, but I enjoyed his set immensely.
Shortly after Aiden’s set, Jay took the stage, and it was as if he was transformed. I hadn’t noticed this from when I saw him in DC. The show in July was the second on his tour. Goddamned had just dropped, and performance-wise, he was obviously fresher. Still, he was apologetic, cracking jokes about contracting SARS and suggesting that we interpret his coughing as percussive accompaniment. Having had an opportunity to spend some time with the “real” Jay, I’m struck by his genuine love for his music, for performing, and for his fans. And hearing him sing after the experiences he’s logged over the past several months, it was as if I were falling in love with his music all over again.
There were two surprises during the show last night. One was the introduction of a Christmas song he has penned. I didn’t catch a title, and I forgot to ask him after the show. It was traditional, melancholy Jay, about the holiday stripped of its magic. I could relate to it in a very real way (and I’m looking forward to the video clip on YouTube!!!). The other surprise was the performance of his new song, Denmark. Hypnotizing, haunting, and lyrically complex, I like to think this song marks a possible shift in Jay’s music. I (possibly wrongfully so) interpret a bit of hope in the tone of it. Let me know what you think.
Jay’s set included some, though not all of my favorites. I’ll forgive him, though, because he put everything he had into his performance last night. You could tell he was fighting to hit some of the notes, and I appreciate that kind of dedication. Jay even invited the crowd to sing along to help cover it up. For those of you keeping track, here is what he played:
Can’t Have It All Death Waltz Soda Shop Straight Outta Compton (Outro, I Kissed a Girl) Jay’s Christmas Song Housewife Goddamned Denmark Half Boyfriend Home
Like all good things, the show had to come to an end, but not before Howard and I got two separate shout-outs for volunteering. I felt like such a star! Just as in DC, Jay came out to sign autographs, and take pictures. And I certainly didn’t mind that he did so right next to me! I love that he takes the time to thank his fans, as there’s a genuine appreciation there. (And I got an education as how NOT to act!)
The crowd quickly thinned, and Howard and I shut down the merchandise table. Before heading out, I told Jay that I needed a picture with him, and he was only too happy to oblige. By that time, he was winding down and getting ready for the drive back to NYC. He asked if I wanted him to take off his scarf and glasses, to which I said NO. As we posed for our picture, I told him that he looked fantastic, and he thanked us for helping out.
All in all, it was another wonderful experience. I’ve always admired the artist, but I have a new appreciation for the man. And I’m looking forward to seeing him again in NYC next month as he closes out his 2008 world tour.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. THANK YOU, JAY!
“It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collections of red states and blue states, we are, and always will be, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!”
-- President-Elect Barack Obama, 11/4/08
I cannot adequately describe my emotions from this past Tuesday. I woke up early to get in line at the polls for when they opened at 7am here in Pennsylvania. After waiting in anticipation for about an hour, I finally entered through the curtains of my booth, and proceeded to cast my ballot for Senator Obama. Nerves gave way to exhilaration, and I left feeling strong and empowered.
After an anxious day at work, I sped home to start watching the returns. At the close of each hour, my fears abated as it became more and more clear what the outcome would be. For months, I watched one candidate speak to the masses about hard work, cooperation, hope, and change while the other candidate pandered to his base, misrepresented the facts, and resorted to name-calling and mud-slinging.
On taxes, the economy, war, health care, foreign and domestic policy, I’m at a loss of comprehension. The dollar amounts thrown around during the campaign are staggering, and mean little in comparison to my income and net wealth. Instead, I tried to filter the candidate’s ideas and proposals through my own personal circumstances. I stood to gain more from Obama than from McCain, so in that respect, I took a seat to the left. And while these are all important issues, there’s still one I cannot compromise.
I’ve spent the past 15+ years struggling to come to grips with my sexuality – to accept myself as a gay man and to find acceptance within my network of family and friends. So far, I’ve been able find support from which I can draw confidence and pride. The journey hasn’t been easy, and I still have a ways to go. Still, as I become more and more comfortable with who I am, I am experiencing something new and disturbing – discrimination.
While official results are not in from California’s controversial Proposition 8, the current vote tally indicates that it will likely pass. The official ballot language is “Eliminates Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” No further examination of the issue is necessary. The residents of the state of California, by majority, have voted to amend the constitution to define marriage as an institution between a man and woman. In doing so, they are effectively overturning the state’s Supreme Court ruling that same-sex marriage is a fundamental right. In other words, they chose to incorporate discrimination into their state’s constitution. Florida and Arkansas enacted similar measures this election cycle, and other states have already moved in that direction.
I view marriage as two separate institutions, one as religious and one as civil. Under the rule of a government predicated on keeping church and state separate, so should these institutions be kept separate and mutually exclusive. While it would be nice to someday be married within the church, it is not a right I seek at this moment. However, I firmly believe in equality and fairness under the law. As a citizen, I expect to be afforded the same rights and privileges available to every other citizen of this country, and that includes those rights and privileges guaranteed to married individuals. Currently, that is not the case.
President-Elect Obama has said that he does not support gay marriage. And for all intents and purposed, I don’t either. Rather, he believes in civil unions and gay equality – a stance I completely support. The hang-up, as I see it, is on the word “marriage.” The religious ceremony has become synonymous with the civil practice to the point where many cannot separate the two. Because the church does not condone gay marriage should have no bearing on the state’s position on the issue.
Homosexuality is not a choice, but a matter of biology. Because I am sexually attracted to someone of the same sex should not preclude me from partnering with another man as a married couple and accessing the rights afforded to heterosexual couples. Denying me those rights on the basis of my sexuality is the same as denying anyone those rights based on race, ethnicity, gender, or religious affiliation. I don’t care what it’s called, as long as I have access to those rights.
I wonder how vehement the outrage would be if the rights and privileges afforded to heterosexual couples under the institution of marriage were “eliminated,” as Prop 8 does for same-sex couples. And yet, a majority of California’s citizens chose strip those rights from members of the gay community.
In this country’s two centuries old history, we have taken progressive steps to remove discrimination from the United States Constitution, moving closer and closer to true equality. Obama’s inclusion of the gay community so profoundly in his victory speech late Tuesday night gives me renewed hope that he will, indeed, bring about change.
"I wanna be a housewife, what's so wrong with that..." -- Jay Brannan
In a perfect world, I'd be a gay housewife. My husband brings home the bacon while I stay home, watch soap operas, cook, clean, and keep myself pretty for him.
In the real world, I am a 30-year-old single gay man who lives alone, has a budding career, two cats, and many wonderful friends. I'm addicted to television, Fafarazzi, online chat, nicotine, and a bevy of fantasy boyfriends.
Eventually, I'll find the perfect man (or he will find me), and live happily ever after. Until then, I'll live in the happy, pretend world I've created in my mind.
