True Equality

“It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collections of red states and blue states, we are, and always will be, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!”

-- President-Elect Barack Obama, 11/4/08

I cannot adequately describe my emotions from this past Tuesday. I woke up early to get in line at the polls for when they opened at 7am here in Pennsylvania. After waiting in anticipation for about an hour, I finally entered through the curtains of my booth, and proceeded to cast my ballot for Senator Obama. Nerves gave way to exhilaration, and I left feeling strong and empowered.

After an anxious day at work, I sped home to start watching the returns. At the close of each hour, my fears abated as it became more and more clear what the outcome would be. For months, I watched one candidate speak to the masses about hard work, cooperation, hope, and change while the other candidate pandered to his base, misrepresented the facts, and resorted to name-calling and mud-slinging.

On taxes, the economy, war, health care, foreign and domestic policy, I’m at a loss of comprehension. The dollar amounts thrown around during the campaign are staggering, and mean little in comparison to my income and net wealth. Instead, I tried to filter the candidate’s ideas and proposals through my own personal circumstances. I stood to gain more from Obama than from McCain, so in that respect, I took a seat to the left. And while these are all important issues, there’s still one I cannot compromise.

I’ve spent the past 15+ years struggling to come to grips with my sexuality – to accept myself as a gay man and to find acceptance within my network of family and friends. So far, I’ve been able find support from which I can draw confidence and pride. The journey hasn’t been easy, and I still have a ways to go. Still, as I become more and more comfortable with who I am, I am experiencing something new and disturbing – discrimination.

While official results are not in from California’s controversial Proposition 8, the current vote tally indicates that it will likely pass. The official ballot language is “Eliminates Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” No further examination of the issue is necessary. The residents of the state of California, by majority, have voted to amend the constitution to define marriage as an institution between a man and woman. In doing so, they are effectively overturning the state’s Supreme Court ruling that same-sex marriage is a fundamental right. In other words, they chose to incorporate discrimination into their state’s constitution. Florida and Arkansas enacted similar measures this election cycle, and other states have already moved in that direction.

I view marriage as two separate institutions, one as religious and one as civil. Under the rule of a government predicated on keeping church and state separate, so should these institutions be kept separate and mutually exclusive. While it would be nice to someday be married within the church, it is not a right I seek at this moment. However, I firmly believe in equality and fairness under the law. As a citizen, I expect to be afforded the same rights and privileges available to every other citizen of this country, and that includes those rights and privileges guaranteed to married individuals. Currently, that is not the case.

President-Elect Obama has said that he does not support gay marriage. And for all intents and purposed, I don’t either. Rather, he believes in civil unions and gay equality – a stance I completely support. The hang-up, as I see it, is on the word “marriage.” The religious ceremony has become synonymous with the civil practice to the point where many cannot separate the two. Because the church does not condone gay marriage should have no bearing on the state’s position on the issue.

Homosexuality is not a choice, but a matter of biology. Because I am sexually attracted to someone of the same sex should not preclude me from partnering with another man as a married couple and accessing the rights afforded to heterosexual couples. Denying me those rights on the basis of my sexuality is the same as denying anyone those rights based on race, ethnicity, gender, or religious affiliation. I don’t care what it’s called, as long as I have access to those rights.

I wonder how vehement the outrage would be if the rights and privileges afforded to heterosexual couples under the institution of marriage were “eliminated,” as Prop 8 does for same-sex couples. And yet, a majority of California’s citizens chose strip those rights from members of the gay community.

In this country’s two centuries old history, we have taken progressive steps to remove discrimination from the United States Constitution, moving closer and closer to true equality. Obama’s inclusion of the gay community so profoundly in his victory speech late Tuesday night gives me renewed hope that he will, indeed, bring about change.