Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.26.08

“It’s like the battle of the Carmen’s. Ladies Figure Skating, Calgary 1988. The Omega Chi were Katarina Witt. Sexy, powerful, Germanic. We were poor Debbie Thomas, just biting it left and right.”

-- Cappie, Greek, “Brothers and Sisters” August 26, 2008


On the heels of the 29th Olympiad and on the verge of the much anticipated Fall TV season, I bring two of my most cherished loves together in the return of Dialogue of the Day.

Greek returned tonight with their season premiere episode, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic! Tonight’s plot was framed around Greek Week, complete with an elaborate take on the Olympics. One of the main characters, Cappie, reveals his love for all things Olympic, and as a self-proclaimed Olympic geek, I found a new reason to love him. Among several pitch perfect Olympic references woven perfectly into the episode, Cappie tosses out this figure skating gem that transported me back to my grandmother’s living room while we watched the Witt/Thomas showdown. Brilliant!

Before you roll your eyes over my love for a seemingly trashy teen drama, here me out. On the surface, Greek is a superficial show about frat boys and sorority snobs, college slacking, partying, binge drinking, indiscriminate sex, irrational competition, cattiness, and other post-adolescent, pre-adulthood debauchery. And without looking deeper, it is.

While that is certainly part of why I love this show, its true appeal lies in the complexity of the characters, plot, and interactions. The writing is clever, multilayered and hilarious, highlighting the best aspects of social life in college – the strong friendships and loyalty fostered by the greek system, the juxtaposition between childish tendencies and adult responsibility. Just like everything else, there’s more to it than meets the eye. As a greek myself, there’s also a strong sense of nostalgia that has me reliving my college days on a weekly basis.

If you aren’t a fan, I urge you to give it a shot. If you are, WASN’T TONIGHT’S EPISODE AWESOME?!?!?!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Tribute to an Olympic Champion



“I just want to be known as the Australian diver who did really well at the Olympics. It’s everybody else who thinks it’s special when homosexuality and elite sport go together.”

-- Matthew Mitcham, interview with The Advocate, August 26, 2008

I’ve been MIA from the blog for a while now, mostly because I’ve been immersing myself in the grand global spectacle that is the Olympic Games. And as the 17-day competition draws to a close, I find myself exalted, exhausted, and brimming with pride. Pride in my country, and now, more than ever, in my sexuality. I bring you Matthew Mitcham.

In the months leading up to the games, Mitcham came out publicly during an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald. In the course of the conversation, the reporter asked with whom Mitcham was living. Without hesitation, he responded that he lived with his partner of two years, Lachlan. In an instant, he became a rarity in mainstream sports – an out gay athlete.

If the statistic that 1 in 10 men are gay is to be trusted, there should be dozens, if not hundreds, of gay athletes competing in Beijing. From what I’ve been able to gather, Mitcham is the only out athlete at these Games. When you think about it, it shouldn’t be that surprising. Mitcham isn’t the first athlete to be open about his sexuality, although most come out after they have retired from active competition. And he does enjoy competing in a sport with a documented history of gay participants.

Sports can often be homoerotic. Hugging and ass slapping are all-too-common sights on various fields of play as forms of encouragement and celebration. Then you get images of baseball players adjusting their cups or the star quarterback with his hands between the legs of his offensive lineman hiking the ball at the beginning of each play. Even the apparel is homoerotic – leotards in gymnastics, unitards in wrestling, speedos in swimming and diving, bike shorts in cycling, and tights in figure skating.

Yet, the hyper-masculinity that’s synonymous with sports creates a homophobic environment in the locker room. Numerous professional athletes have expressed an unwillingness to accept a gay teammate. It’s no wonder why gay athletes choose to remain in the closet when being open about their sexuality exposes them to the risk of ridicule and rejection. I can only imagine how torn they must be, having to sacrifice their identity in order to pursue athletic endeavors. This, like so many other aspects of life, is unfair.

But Matthew MItcham has adopted a mindset that I admire and strive to take on myself. His pursuit of sport and his sexuality are mutually exclusive parts of his life with no bearing on the other. Being gay neither helps nor hinders him on the platform as he prepares to dive. And you don’t have to be straight in order to pursue the dream of winning an Olympic gold medal.

Today, Mitcham competed in the finals of the men’s 10 meter platform. He stood in 9th place after the first dive, rising to 2nd going into his final dive. Poised at the edge of the platform, he composed himself to perform a Back 2 ½ Somersault with 2 ½ twists – the most difficult dive being attempted in the competition. He took his time, launched himself off the platform, completed the elements of the dive with precision, and entered the water vertically with zero splash. Three of the seven judges awarded him perfect 10’s, and he earned 112.10 points. That dive, which now stands as the highest scoring dive in Olympic history, vaulted him into the lead, earning him the gold medal and realizing his life-long dream.


I’m proud of him and all that he represents for the gay community. But I am most proud of his desire to be seen as an Olympic champion, regardless of his sexuality. Congratulations, Matthew! I, for one, applaud you.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.8.08

It’s not the triumph but the struggle.

-- NBC Olympic Coverage narration

I live for these 17 days every two years.

I’ve never been an athletic person, nor was I a sports fan growing up. But for some reason, the Olympic Games have always been an obsession of mine. Maybe it’s the incredible sense of nationalism or the purity of amateur athletic competition or the sheer enormity of the spectacle. Maybe it’s just the serious bling or the hot guys in unitards and speedos. I can’t really say for sure. All I know is that I love it, and every two years when the new Olympiad rolls around, I cannot get enough.

The games aren’t perfect. You have to look beyond the growing commercialism, from corporate sponsorships to the inclusion of professional athletes in what should be the pinnacle of amateur sport. And in order to enjoy the actual competition, you have to ignore NBC’s mammoth amount of filler and frustrating broadcasting choices. Occasionally, you’ll get a whiney athlete who cannot accept failure. But for the most part, the strength of the human condition prevails regardless of the result.

For so many of the athletes about to compete in the next two weeks or so, this is their Super Bowl. In sport, it is their finish line. For most, the honor is in participating, in representing their country on a global stage. Perseverance, determination, pride. More than a few underdogs will prevail, overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve the unthinkable. Most will go home without a medal around their neck, but with an experience more precious than gold, silver, or bronze.

The Olympic Spirit, in its truest sense, is about unity through peaceful competition. The world converges in one place and borders disappear. Cultural, ethnic, religious and political differences are forgotten. Sport becomes the common denominator, bringing everyone together. The Olympic movement is an ideal made into reality, and with that comes hope and optimism. In this respect, it’s easy to see the appeal of the Games.

During tonight’s opening ceremonies, harmony was prevalent theme. The message was powerful, and I found my cynicism dissipating. This seems to happen each time the Olympics roll around, and I find myself looking forward to it. For a brief moment, the Olympics give us a glimpse at the possibilities. Peace and harmony, in our lives, in our nations, in our world. It’s not about triumph, but the struggle. We all have the struggle in common, and once we find that common ground, the possibilities can be achieved.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.6.08

Shit is the tofu of cursing.

-- David Sedaris, Reading at George Washington University, Washington D.C., April 5, 2005

After the stress-filled weekend I just had, and an absolutely frustrating week at work thus far, I’m in the mood to go on a mental tangent. This is as good a tangent as any.

Think about it for a second. In the grand spectrum of swear words, “shit” is probably the most innocuous and least offensive. A popular euphemism for just about anything considered undesirable in the context of conversation, its overuse has stripped the word of any significant impact. As a result, you have a mildly offensive, crude word without any real shape, consistency, or flavor.

Tofu, indeed!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.5.08

Come on! It's the media age. We can do it overnight! Britney Spears shaves something or shows something or shows something shaved, and it's around the world in seconds. Trust me, lady, I can make you Mother Teresa — with better boobs.

-- Marc, Ugly Betty
“Bananas for Betty” – Season 2, Episode 10


I love Ugly Betty (and not just because I’m gay), and I love Marc (and not just because of the identical moniker). Quite possibly the gay-friendliest show on television, Ugly is the entire package. Topical and transcendent. Caustic and saccharine. Side-splittingly funny and rip-your-heart-out dramatic. You can find examples of each in every 42 minute episode. Beyond the general hilarity of this quote, think for a moment about what is written between the lines.

In today’s world, everyday people can become celebrities just by posting a video to YouTube or blogging about just about anything. The internet age has brought into existence the 4th dimension. Communities form and function on a virtual landscape that operates in conjunction with and concurrent to the real world. Often, they complement each other. Some use the internet to escape the dreary realities of everyday life. Others use real world events to bolster their virtual image. That can be, in turns, revelatory, exciting, amusing, thought-provoking, sad and shameful.

No matter how mundane the content, there’s an audience out there to consume it. Whether it’s to watch a celebrity train-wreck in progress or the simple beauty of a giggling infant, our every curiosity can easily be satisfied. I, for one, will be watching.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.4.08

No, I'm not gay. And I don't understand why anyone would think, that I'm gay... if... [sighs] Uh... yeah I'm gay.

-- Oscar Martinez, The Office
“Gay Witch Hunt” – Season 3, Episode 1


Let me apologize in advance for my recent focus on the topic of coming out. It’s a big part of my life right now, so I’ll be obsessing for a while. I’ll try to mix things up tomorrow. Until then….

It’s ironic that this was the first episode of The Office that I ever watched. A coworker had been badgering me to watch this show for months. I had resisted because of my general dislike of the television sitcom. I promised to give it a go at the beginning of the 3rd season, and I haven’t looked back! BRILLIANT! Nothing more needs to be said.

Oscar’s character speaks to me on so many levels, but nothing resonates with me more than the line of dialogue above. Those 20 words encapsulate the last 10 years of my life, not including the years it took for me just to accept my sexuality. From an early age, I got the impression that being gay was not a desirable character trait. Despite my early suspicions, I desperately wanted to be normal, to be accepted. Once I began denying it, it became instinct. And the fear of having my family find out ruled my life for so long.

Then, like Oscar, I just gave the farce up. One day, I was asked if I had a boyfriend by an acquaintance who just assumed that I was gay. Innocent enough, and nothing that hadn’t happened before. Caught off-guard, I had to make an instant decision. Recite the well-worn denial, making them feel foolish for making said assumption, or just answer “No,” and simply move on with the conversation. In that instant, I was tired of the charade, and saw no need to perpetuate it in a situation that had little bearing on the rest of my life. I chose the latter.

And you know what? I wasn’t struck by lightening! A lynch mob didn’t storm in and rip me to pieces! The people I was talking with didn’t gasp in shock and disgust and turn their backs on me! In that instant, I finally realized that I would be okay. It still took me a while to overcome my fears, but the experience gave me a push in the right direction. Telling my friends was easy. My family, as you’ve seen, not so much.

But I’m still here, and I’m okay. That’s got to count for something.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.3.08

There’s only now
There’s only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today

-- Mimi, “Another Day” from Rent


There’s no turning back now. Years of hiding my sexuality, followed by months of struggling with the decision to finally come out, and weeks of planning how and when I would do it came to fruition last night. I’m dealing with a completely different set of emotions this morning than I was just 24 hours ago.

My worst fears were proven baseless. At least with my brother and sister-in-law, acceptance was quick. It helped that they harbored strong suspicions for a very long time and had discussed it on several occasions. Our conversation was calm and rational. My sister-in-law was immediately supportive, which means more to me than I can possibly express. For Michael, it took some explaining.

Michael’s only desire was that I be the one to tell him. Having done so, he openly wondered what took me so long. Why did I feel that I couldn’t tell him? Why did I think he would be angry or upset? He felt that I couldn’t trust him enough to tell him sooner. To a certain degree, he was right. Even yesterday, I was prepared to walk out the door and leave our relationship behind. That fact alone betrays my lack of trust in him and how he would react. But with Michael, the “gray areas” are so small. As much as he was right, the reality of the situation is that I trusted him most, enough to tell him first. I hope I was able to adequately express that last night.

It’s funny. I grew up not caring about him one way or the other. We butted heads so often and so vehemently. There was a time when I might have used my sexuality as a way to expose his prejudices and cut him down. But as we grew up, we left all that behind. We found some common ground, built on a mutual foundation of respect, and became close as a result. To me, our friendship was a revelation, completely unexpected and wholly welcomed. Knowing that the knowledge of my true sexuality might put all of that into jeopardy was frightening.

I hope that he knows how much I love and respect him. I hope he knows how much I look up to him and value his opinion. I hope he knows how much I appreciate his support. The journey has only just begun, and having him by my side gives me the strength to push forward.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Dialogue of the Day - 8.2.08

well, that’s the way the fairy tale goes
boy meets girl and they wed with roses
but that’s not the way it seems to be
and i’m pissed that they lied to me
cuz boy meets boy and boy runs away
or girl meets girl and she’s afraid to stay
we end up home alone watching court tv
not living ever after happily

-- Ever After Happily, Jay Brannan


Yesterday was supposed to be the day, like several others before it. A rite of passage in the life of every homosexual. The big reveal. Coming out.

My own personal journey of self-discovery has been filled with a smattering of roadblocks. Accepting my sexuality, in itself, was difficult enough. I've had to overcome a Catholic upbringing that so effectively instilled a sense of guilt and shame, coupled with the bigotry of my old-school Italian family. I spent my adolescence working to escape the oppressive environment I found myself in. Yet, when I accomplished that, I spent more years than I care to admit trying to be "normal." As much as I said that I didn't care what my family thought, I lived in fear that they would find out that I'm gay.

It's taken a long time for me to get to this place in my life. Several times, I've tried to work up the courage to come out to my family, only to have fear pull me back in off the ledge. During the past few months, I've focused on the love that we share as a family. Trusting in that has helped me step up to the edge again, ready to jump off. I keep telling myself that I'll be able to handle the disappointment, sorrow, and even anger, should that be their reaction, because love is beneath it all. It may take some time, but everything will be okay. Better, even.

So I spend the day with my brother yesterday, with every intention of telling him and his wife that I'm gay. The entire time, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to start the conversation. My imagination takes over, and the old fears resurface. Scenarios play out in my head, and I see everything I stand to lose as a result of the conversation I'm trying to breach. I let opportunity after opportunity pass, and I leave without telling them anything.

So, I find myself home, alone, pissed at myself, and letting Jay's music be the soundtrack to my mood. This lyric speaks for itself.