Remembering the Love

It’s time now, to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
(Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love
(You know that life is a gift from up above)
Remember the love
(Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love
(Measure, measure your life in love)

-- “Seasons of Love,” Rent

Rent closed its 12 year run on Broadway on Sunday, September 7th, 2008. The final performance was filmed and released into theaters this week for a special limited engagement. I just got back from seeing it, and not surprisingly, I’m filled with emotion.

At its core, Rent is about individual souls transformed by the power of love. Imperfect, irrational, and oftentimes fleeting, love is still that entity which shapes our humanity.

Life can be dark, bleak, and oppressive, filled with struggle, strife, sorrow, and pain. Yet, even in those moments of deepest despair, a gesture of compassion, kindness, or concern can be supremely uplifting. Right now, I’m thinking about those people in my life – family, friends – whom I love and who love me. They provide the joy in my life, a happiness that carries me through the difficult times. They give my life meaning and purpose. They make me glad to be alive.

Today, I remember the love. Today, I celebrate those who have taught me about love.

The cast of Rent during the curtain call of Sept. 7th's final performance on Broadway.

About to take a Sick (of this Bullshit) Day

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

-- Jack Torrence, The Shining

In keeping with the spirit of my blog, “I Wanna Be A Housewife,” I’m about the bitch and complain about work.

Let’s make one important distinction. I love my profession. I love my career. The work that I’ve chosen to do, non-profit fundraising, is fulfilling. At the end of the day, I can at least take heart in the greater goodness of my efforts. I don’t think I would be able to muddle through the office politics, inefficiencies, conflict, frustrations and aggravations were it not for the altruism behind my work.

That being said, even the most honest rationalization doesn’t change the fact that earning a living can be stressful, demoralizing and soul-crushing. I currently find myself in the midst of one such scenario. While I can point fingers in many different directions identifying root causes, I also point one at myself. I am not free from blame, by any stretch of the imagination. I allowed the pervasive discontent within my office to take hold and stymie my own motivation. The result is a very large, very unpleasant bag of shit. Though I am equally to blame, I can safely say the rancor permeating the office, and those responsible for it, are just as much to blame. Yet, they never seem to step up and take responsibility for their actions, or lack thereof.

I could whine about this for hours, but I know that I will encounter variations of this theme everywhere. Changing jobs will never solve the issue; rather, it will just alter the circumstances. A personality, management style, policy, bureaucracy, or any number of other factors will rub me the wrong way. The key is finding that place with the fewest number of irritating factors.

Several times over the past few weeks, I’ve seriously considered quitting my job. Without a safety net. Without a plan. That’s how torn up I’ve been. Seeing all of those Wall Street fat cats who are getting paid millions to fuck up royally hasn’t helped. Seeing self-involved, spoiled celebutants indulge in ridiculous excess hasn’t helped. The supreme unfairness of it all gets under my skin.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice. Until my Prince Charming shows up and steals me off with him to his castle, I must remain in the trenches, toiling away to keep a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table. Only now, I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later. Like today…? Any takers?

Oh well… I guess I’ll just go buy some Powerball tickets in the meantime.

Power of Veto

“It worries me to think that people like April can vote in the presidential election, let alone BB: Whenever you see a particularly manipulative and blatantly misleading attack ad on TV, just know that somewhere out there, it is working on April.”

-- Josh Wolk, EW.com, “Big Brother”: Renegade Kids

Yes, I’m a fan of Big Brother, but don’t let my guilty pleasure fool you. Beneath my affinity for mindless trash lies an inquisitive mind willing to look beneath the surface to find a deeper value.

A bunch of strangers are locked into a “house” for more than two months with no connection whatsoever to the outside world. While inside, their goal is to manipulate their way through the game to avoid eviction by their housemates to be one of the last two standing. At that point, seven of those evicted decide who wins the half million dollar prize. Naturally, petty drama and hilarious hijinks ensue. What’s not to love!

In actuality, Big Brother is an impressive study of psychology, duplicity, and cunning. With cameras constantly rolling, the houseguests often forget they are being recorded, and occasionally, the viewer gets a glimpse into the actual person, warts and all--insecurities, conceit, naiveté, gullibility, and a myriad of other characteristics most of us try so hard to hide while being observed. The show is completely voyeuristic, and much of its appeal lies in the hope of getting a glimpse into these people’s truest selves.

I was never a fan of April’s (one of this season’s bitchy beauties), but this particular observation about her character brings a little understanding. April is the type of person too self-involved to see beyond herself and take into account the bigger picture. Her animosity towards certain other houseguests is completely legitimate; yet, she fails to consider the context of her betrayal. She and 12 others entered the Big Brother house to play a game with a significant cash prize. Bonds made within the house are inevitable, but loyalty is fleeting when everyone is trying to win. While most of the evicted houseguests acknowledge this dynamic, April has shown that she is incapable of letting things go.

Often, life is ruled by emotion. Poor decisions are made when we allow our emotions to get the better of us. It leads to impulsiveness and reactivity. Common sense goes out the window in favor of spite, jealousy and fear. While it ultimately does not matter who she will vote for to win Big Brother, April signifies a tendency for society to lean towards irrationality. Gossip masquerades as fact. Half-truths and outright lies take root because of clever spin or carefully crafted messaging. It’s sad how easily hoodwinked so many of us can be, and it’s scary to think about how a little thoughtlessness can be disastrous for so many others.

Still, despite this prevalent tendency, I have faith that the majority will harness their skills of reason to make the right decisions. The saying goes that hindsight is 20/20, but foresight doesn’t have to be blind.

And who said that I only watch Big Brother for the eye-candy?!?!?! (Insert eye-candy here)

BB10 contestant, Memphis, in all his ripped glory!

The Serendipity of Spontaneity

“You know The Bible tells you God's the one that made you
So get out on the dance floor and shake what He gave you!”

-- “Rhythm In Me,” Altar Boyz

Ravi Roth, who plays Abraham in Altar Boyz, and Lindsay Hemphill outside the New Worlds Stage Theater

By nature, I’ve never been a spontaneous person. Most times, I’m too practical, and I tend to shy away from risk taking. Once in a while, I throw caution to the wind and genuinely roll with the punches. Such was the case this weekend.

A few weeks back, Lindsay learned that an old friend of hers from music camp, Ravi Roth, was starring in the off-Broadway musical, Altar Boyz. Her first instinct was to try to get up to NY from Virginia to see him and celebrate his accomplishment. I offered my spare bedroom and to join her, as I’m a native New Yorker with knowledge of and comfort with Manhattan. (It should also be mentioned that I had some selfish motives, wanting to experience musical theater from a true insider and possibly getting to meet Neil Haskell of SYTYCD fame!) She reconnected with Ravi, and in the process, found out that his run was coming to an end shortly. Other plans prevented this from becoming a reality, so with much disappointment, we abandoned the idea.

Then, this week, Lindsay finds out that Ravi’s run in the show had been extended until September 2nd! Our plans for Lindsay to visit me next weekend were falling apart because I have to work next Sunday. Labor Day had already been ruled out because of other plans that I had made. A small window of opportunity existed, and I arranged my plans to open up as much of this weekend as I could. Lindsay coordinated with Ravi, and in the blink of an eye, the itinerary was set. Lindsay would drive up early on Sunday morning and we’d travel into Manhattan in time to catch the 7pm performance.

We arrived in midtown around 5:30pm, and immediately purchased our tickets, discounted thanks to Ravi. We settled in at a Starbucks to kill some time. After some texts between Lindsay and Ravi, he and two other castmates greeted us there. Lindsay was sufficiently excited to see her old friend, and I was sufficiently star-struck. I truly admire those with the talent and courage to perform, and even though I like to think I’m cool, calm, and collected, I couldn’t seem to control the butterflies when I’m around “famous” people. I must have seemed like a dork! As surreal as that experience was, it was truly only the tip of the iceberg!

Lindsay and I made our way over to the theater just before showtime and settled into our seats (which were incredible, I might add). Ten minutes later, the house lights went down, and the show began. For the next 90 minutes, I couldn’t stop smiling. The show is a HILARIOUS take on a fictional Christian pop music boy band – satirizing the formulaic make-up of boy bands, pop culture proselytizing, and the dichotomy between religion and fame. Intelligently written, fantastically staged, and amazingly performed, Lindsay and I enjoyed as close to a perfect theater experience as is possible, made even more memorable because of Lindsay’s personal connection with Ravi. She was beaming with awe and pride, and I felt lucky just to be there.

Naturally, we waited by the stage door for Ravi and the cast to come out. In that time, I purchased the CD and we raved about how good the show was. Finally, the cast came out, and Ravi introduced us to the rest of the cast. Lindsay and I did the fan thing, getting autographs and photos. I was humbled at how personable and gracious the actors were, which I believe was more than just because Ravi and Lindsay are old friends. I came to learn that they are mostly young, struggling actors who are making the most of the opportunity and enjoying the attention. (I will interject that Neil is just as HOT in person as on TV, though I imagined him taller than he actually is!)

(l to r) Mauricio Perez (Juan), Michael Kadin Craig (Matthew), Neil Haskell (Luke), Lindsay Hemphill, Ravi Roth (Abraham), Travis Nesbitt (Mark), and ME

Already, the experience was more than I imagined, but it didn’t end there. After the crowd dispersed, Lindsay, Ravi, and I settled in at the New Worlds Stage bar for some cocktails, and we were soon joined by another of Lindsay and Ravi’s music camp friends – Michael Heights, the production manager for The Lion King on Broadway. Ravi’s best friend, Erin Willis, also met up with us. Erin is a theater actress who just came off the national tour of My Fair Lady. Most of the Altar Boyz cast and crew mingled in the bar with us, and conversation flowed naturally. Lindsay, Ravi, and Michael caught up on old times, and we all got to know each other some, culminating in a round of shots (how else!).

When the bar shut down at 11pm, Lindsay and I were invited to someone’s birthday bash at the Dream Hotel on West 55th Street. We soon learned that we were partying with NYC theater elite, including producer Adam Epstein and the Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid, Sienna Boggess. After a few drinks there, the mood took us to a different party at another bar back on 47th Street. Among the guests (so I was told) included half the cast of Spring Awakening. We enjoyed a final round of drinks there before calling it a night at 1:30am. We said our goodbyes, and Lindsay and I were off, indulging in one of NY’s famed street cart “dirty water dogs” before getting in the car to make our way back to Pennsylvania.

Lindsay and I, out on the town in Manhattan.

Lindsay and I reveled in the absurdity of it all. I can’t speak for Lindsay, but I felt like I did back in college, standing on the periphery watching the uninhibited indulgence of the acting majors and partaking in the camaraderie and insanity. I willingly left that lifestyle behind me when I moved away from Boston three and a half years ago, and even at that point, I had outgrown that scene. I felt old but surprisingly young and carefree. It was equally refreshing and intoxicating to revisit that part of my life. For one night, I wove in and out of the Manhattan theater scene, all because we took hold of a fleeting opportunity and acted purely on impulse. Our spontaneity was certainly rewarded, and it will be an experience that I don’t soon forget!